The 'From Hell' Arc
by DRL
Summary: A series of connected stories surrounding the relationship of Heero & Duo in an alternate universe. Originally written as a series of oneshots, now brought together under one heading
1. Chapter 1

**From Hell**

**By DRL**

I don't suppose it would have happened if I hadn't seen the jacket. It was definitely that that had made me relax my vigilance long enough for it to happen. Afterward I tried to tell myself that it wasn't all that great of a jacket anyway, but it was. Funnily enough, I couldn't seem to call to mind the guy who was wearing it. At least I think it was a guy, although it could have been a girl. Hell, it could have been a monkey for all I could remember. The cops asked me if I could remember anyone hanging around at the time. Yeah, there were some people there, but I don't remember them. Who in the hell goes people-watching in a public library for christsake!

I remembered the jacket well enough though, not the guy _in_ the jacket but the jacket. The guy (or girl) wearing it was standing with his back to me, looking at the books on the shelves directly in front of the table I was working at, so I had the peach of a view of it. It had to have been the coolest thing I had ever seen. Cut like a biker's jacket, it was made from leather. Not cheap leather that looks like the kinda stuff they make the booths of a diner out of, but smooth, supple leather, the kind you see in the store windows of the fancy shops on Main Street. Yeah, this was good stuff. Anyway, it was the design that caught my eye, not the fabric. Emblazoned across the shoulders were the words 'FROM HELL'. Now about six months previously the words would have meant nothing in particular to me but as it was, those words were the whole reason I was in the library at all.

You see I was studying criminology at the University (yeah, I know, but it seemed a good idea at the time). I was in my second year and it was going okay. Actually, it was going better than okay. I was considered the best student in my class and because of this my tutor asked me to help him with some research for a book he was writing, but I suspected that he also wanted to get into my pants. It was never gonna happen, but I let him think so just to get a better rate out of him and it paid much better than flipping burgers or pumping gas. The book he was writing was about 'Jack the Ripper', a serial killer who murdered and mutilated a bunch of women in London a couple hundred years ago. The cops back then received a bunch of letters from people claiming to be The Ripper, but the only one that they thought was genuinely from him began with those very words – 'FROM HELL'. I must have read that letter a thousand times and the words were firmly imprinted on my brain.

Like I said, those same words were right across the back of the jacket written in letters around three or four inches high. They were picked out in a shiny, fiery-red thread and were all spooky looking, like you'd expect to see on an old horror movie poster, you know, kinda creepy. Underneath the lettering, right in the centre of the back was this upside down knife. When I say upside down, I mean that the point was facing downwards. The coolest part of the whole thing was that the blade of the knife was made to look as though it had been dipped in blood and blood seemed to be dripping from the point. The blood was stitched from a shiny red thread, the same as the letters only darker in colour and the silver blade of the knife was stitched silvery lurex thread. The handle of the knife was black and so was the leather of the jacket, so to make it visible the handle was encrusted with shimmering little black beads which picked up the ambient light reflections and made the black handle stand out against the black of the jacket.

I would have given every penny I had to own a jacket like that and I got to wondering how much something like that would cost. I was certainly no expert, but I could tell that it would probably be more that I could earn in a year of researching, and then some. As I was admiring this work of art and speculating on the possible cost of it, some woman walked across the room in front of me and it was lost to my view for a second or two. In that moment I realised that the woman who had walked past was the same one who had been at the copier making a copy of Tolstoy's 'War & Peace' from the size of the pile of papers she had been copying. Well I grabbed my chance, caught up the stuff I wanted to copy and made a bolt for the copier.

That must have been when it happened, but I didn't notice until much later. Not until I was ready to leave the library. I reached down and felt for my backpack, but it wasn't there. At times like this it's funny how your mind refuses to acknowledge the obvious. The backpack was not at my feet where I had left it, so I groped around some more, widening the scope of my search. My mind refused to believe what first my hands and then my eyes as I looked down at the floor around my chair for confirmation, were telling me. But there was no doubt about it – the bag was gone.

That was the beginning of a nightmare. The library staff were real sympathetic and helpful. Well at least they tried to be helpful, but there wasn't all that much that they could do. The cops were sympathetic too in their way, but they'd seen this a thousand times before so I suppose they couldn't help but be mechanical and perfunctory about it.

"We're sorry Mr Maxwell," They told me, "There's a slim chance that you may get the bag and some of the contents back, but you'd better kiss goodbye to the money."

Yeah, well I'd kinda figured that myself. Virtually every penny I owned was in that bag. I'd just cashed the cheque for my research work for last month. I had planned to pay my rent and then stock up on some much-needed groceries, maybe treat myself to a Chinese takeaway that evening if there was enough left over, taking into account my living expenses for the month. Well it looked as though it was back to living on ramen noodles – cheap and cheerless. It was not only my money that was gone. The keys to my apartment, my driver's license, my public transport season pass, some of my textbooks (purchased with money carefully harvested from my slender means), a few essays I had spent a lot of time working on and I was due to hand in soon and most importantly, the only draft of my course thesis (a study comparing and contrasting serial killing with mass murder, working on an interesting theory that all mass murderers are really serial killers who lack patience) and sundry other personal bits and pieces. I mentally berated myself for having been so stupid as to get up and leave the bag lying unattended, a thing I had never done before. After all, having had nothing for most of my life, I was quite good at keeping a close eye on the things I eventually _did_ managed to acquire. This was a pointless exercise however; there was no use crying over spilt milk.

The staff at the library were so embarrassed that such a thing could happen on their hallowed premises that they felt moved to lend me some money so I could catch the bus home and they arranged for a locksmith to meet me at my apartment so that he could let me in. He also changed the locks for me because not only were my keys in the bag, but my address also and I didn't fancy a home-visit from the bastard who had stolen my bag. I had no means of paying him, my one and only credit card also being in the bag, but the kindly old soul wrote me out a bill and told me I could pay it whenever I was able to.

Although the kind old locksmith went some way to restoring my faith in human nature, alone in my apartment I stripped down to my underwear, lay on my bed and cried like a baby, so upset and unsettled was I by what had happened, spilt milk be damned. I cried myself to a fitful sleep and woke feeling a little in the doldrums still, but determined to make the best of a bad job. It would take more that some son of a bitch stealing his life in a backpack to set Duo Maxwell back. I'd lived through worse... much worse.

I showered and dressed. I hadn't felt like eating the night before, (which was just as well because I had no money to buy anything for dinner) and I was just wondering if I could find enough change down the back of the sofa to scrape together the price of a bagel for breakfast, when my door buzzer sounded. It was the postman who claimed to have 'a package for Duo Maxwell'. Puzzled, I buzzed him up and signed for a large, heavy, irregular shaped package, expertly wrapped in brown paper. The name and address, written in neat block capitals, were indeed mine, so my curiosity piqued, I shrugged and opened it.

I don't know what I had done to deserve it, but the gods had really smiled on me that morning. Inside the package was my backpack. My legs buckled with surprise and relief and I sank to my knees on the floor. The weight and the bulk of the bag told me that at least my text books were still in it, but with practicality uppermost in my mind (but without much real hope), I immediately thrust my hand into the pouch where I had put the money. To my utter astonishment I drew out a bundle of notes and a small sheet of white paper, folded in half across its width. Without stopping to count the money, I unfolded the sheet.

_Dear Mr Maxwell_

_I hope this is your bag. Your name and address were on some of the things inside, so I assume that it must be. I found it on top of some rubbish bins at the back of my apartment building. It seemed to have some important things in it so I thought you might be glad to have it back. Luckily, your money is still in it also. Everything is exactly as I found it, but if there is anything else I can tell you, my cellphone number is written at the bottom of the page._

_Yours Sincerely_

_Heero Yuy_

Heero Yuy huh? Sounded like a Japanese name. Well as far as I was concerned, Heero Yuy was an angel, I loved him and I wanted to have his children (I assumed that he was a guy, but you never could tell with these Asian names). I counted the money. It was all there – my rent, my groceries and my Chinese takeaway. Everything else was still in the bag too. My faith in human nature fully restored, I grabbed the phone, punched in the cellphone number from the note and waited.

"Yes?" Came the curt reply after about two rings. I was totally unprepared for and a little taken aback by the brusqueness of the reply, but I persevered.

"Heero, er, Mr Yuy?" I said uncertainly.

"Yes, what do you want?" Heero Yuy was definitely a guy and he sounded distinctly pissed off. I swallowed hard and soldiered on.

"It's er, it's Duo Maxwell here."

"Ah yes," His tone mellowed considerably, "You got your bag back okay." It was a statement not a question.

"Yeah, I did, and I just called to say thanks for taking the trouble to return it to me. It was real good of you."

"It was no trouble."

"Sure it was. You had to package it up, schlep all the way across town to the post office, then wait in line until an assistant was free and god only knows how long that must have been, then you had to pay, oh I don't know how much to send it, it's not exactly light and you sent it next-day delivery, and ..."

"It was no trouble Mr Maxwell." He cut me off and I thought I detected something that seemed like mirth in his voice.

"Duo." I corrected him absently.

"It was no trouble Duo." He said for the third time.

"Well, thanks anyway. You have no idea how glad I was to get that package. What can I do to show my gratitude for what you did? Well I can return the money for the postage for starters." I offered, mentally calculating how much that was likely to be in relation to the bundle of notes in my hand.

"That won't be necessary Duo."

"Oh, well if there's anything else I can do, anything at all..."

"Have dinner with me."

"What?"

"Have dinner with me... tonight."

I thought I had misheard, but no, that was what he said. I can't say I wasn't surprised by his request, but I agreed. I dunno, maybe the guy was lonely and he just wanted some company. We agreed to meet at one of the most expensive restaurants in town. He made the suggestion and I nearly choked, but I agreed. Although it had been his idea, I fully intended it to be my treat. Paying for a meal there for both of us would just about break me after my rent, never mind the groceries, and I could forget the takeaway but it was the very least I could do and a small price to pay for what he had done for me.

I hung up and went straight across the hall to my best friend Hilde's apartment. I gave her the whole story and told her that she had to come over and help me find something to wear. Hilde's great. She's a struggling fashion designer (about to make it big any day now) and if anyone could help me find something suitable to wear to a smart restaurant from my abysmal wardrobe, Hilde could. I had no classes that day so she made me breakfast and we spent the rest of the day together in her apartment, just hanging out. We spent a good deal of time and had a lot of fun speculating on what kind of a person Heero Yuy was to have made such as strange request, and by the time I was spruced and ready for my 'date' I firmly believed I was going to meet an elderly widower, originally from Japan (although he had no accent), whose children had grown up, left home and never called or wrote. Something of a curmudgeon, he also had a kind and benevolent side to his nature.

Hilde had dressed me up in an ensemble culled from our joint wardrobe resources. The boots and jeans, both black, and the plain white collarless shirt I wore were mine and the full-skirted brocade frock coat was hers. A few years ago she had designed the costumes for a movie about the French Revolution and the coat had originally been designed for the star of the movie, who was playing the role of a French aristocrat in danger of losing his head to 'Madame La Guillotine'. When the coat was eventually made it turned out to be a little tight across the chest (the actor having famously gained a pound or two during filming) and Hilde ended up keeping it. It fitted me like a glove, and I had to admit that I cut quite a dashing figure in it. She had loosed my waist-length hair from its customary braid and had caught it up at the nape of my neck with a black silk scarf.

Hilde drove me to the restaurant in her beat-up old VW Beetle, and as I made my way to the table where I was informed that 'Mr Yuy awaited me', I realised how wrong we had been. Heero Yuy was far from elderly. In fact, he was no older than I was myself and he was absolutely beautiful. I know that men aren't usually described as beautiful, but that is the only word to describe the person seated at the table, who rose to shake my hand as I approached. I took in everything, from his simple dark suit and open-necked white shirt to his fashionably tousled chocolate-brown hair to his porcelain-smooth, café au lait skin, but it was his eyes that had me hooked. They bore the epicanthal folds that betrayed his ethnic origin but unexpectedly they were a striking shade of blue. I stared into them as I took my seat, and I don't think I tore my eyes from his throughout the entire meal.

We talked and talked, well I talked mostly and he listened, although I did find out that he offered consultancy services and designed computer programs for large companies and organisations on a freelance basis. I told him about my thesis subject and he seemed real interested. I felt a bit like a fish out of water sitting in a place like that with a guy like him, and I actually told him that. That was the funny thing about it, from the start it was like we were old friends. I felt like I could tell him anything, just as though I had known him all my life. I think I actually did tell him everything. Some of it wasn't all that nice to hear, but I told him all the same. There was no awkwardness between us at all, considering we had only just met. We just got on like a house on fire.

Anyway, we had a wonderful time and afterwards we walked around the city a little bit. By the way, he flatly refused to let me pay for dinner and I had more than enough money to buy him a drink or two, so I took him to a bar I knew and we met a few friends of mine there. He seemed to get along with them real well. In fact, I think they assumed that we were, you know, really dating, and I must say that I felt kinda flattered that they thought a guy like that would look twice at someone like me. When we eventually left the bar I looked at my watch and mumbled something about it's being late and that I supposed I ought to get home, which was about the last thing I actually wanted to do. He agreed that yeah, he supposed I ought to, but he seemed as reluctant as I did. We stood outside the bar for a moment or two in silence, ostensibly waiting for a taxi to happen by, then in the light of a street lamp he turned to me, cupped my cheek in his hand, looked me dead in the eye and said,

"Would you like to come home with _me_ Duo?"

"I thought you'd never ask." I replied boldly.

He kissed me then and I swear to god, I think I lost my mind. I have never wanted anyone so badly in my entire life and I kinda got the feeling that the thing was mutual. We dispensed with the taxi and walked, hand in hand, the short distance back to his apartment block, which was one of those new, modern ones with lots of glass and breathtaking views, although I paid this scant attention at the time, having eyes for nothing else but him. We could scarcely keep our hands off each other as we rode the elevator up to his apartment, and when we finally got there we gave in to our overwhelming desire for each other (yeah on the first date, but hell, I would have married the guy on the first date if he'd have asked me to). We made hot, passionate love well into the night (or should I say into the morning) and we both gave voice to our passion to such an extent that I hoped his walls were thicker than those of my apartment, otherwise his neighbours would sure be pissed at him tomorrow.

We fell asleep in each other's arms and when I awoke it was barely dawn. He was still asleep so I gently disengaged myself from his embrace, rose from the bed and, pausing to slip a shirt on over my nude body, I negotiated my way to the kitchen. I chose his shirt rather than mine because it smelled of him and it made it seem as though his arms were still around me. I brewed a pot of coffee (no mean feat in an unfamiliar kitchen, especially one as large and well-equipped as his was), poured myself a cup and went back to the bedroom. Thoroughly convinced that I was totally and utterly in love, I sat on the bed beside him, sipping my coffee and watching him sleep in the burgeoning light of the breaking dawn.

Suddenly, I felt the urge to see more of him, to take a look at the things that were his, the things that he owned. I put down my cup, rose gently from the bed so as not to wake him, then I embarked on a voyage of discovery. I looked over the neatly ordered items on the shelves and surfaces in his bedroom and the toiletries and cosmetic items in the bathroom, picking up the odd item here and there to inspect it closely, then replacing it exactly as and where I found it, so precisely was everything placed. I went to his wardrobe and on sliding back the large mirrored door, I was not surprised to see that this was precisely and neatly ordered also. I took in the many pairs of shoes, each pair in its own little pigeonhole, the stacks of folded t-shirts and sweaters, the rows of shirts, pants, jackets and coats that hung on hangers suspended from rails at various strategic heights. The guy had a lot of clothes, at least three times as many as I had, I noted, and as I ran my hand along a row of what appeared to be outdoor garments, something caught my eye – just a flash of familiar colour as the garments swung gently under my touch. I went back along the rail, sliding each garment aside as I inspected the next until I came to it. Realisation suddenly dawning, I grinned broadly as I gazed upon the wondrous vision I had seen for the first time only the day before, although it seemed like an age ago to me now. I ran my fingers lovingly across the lettering 'FROM HELL' written across the shoulders as I thought to myself, 'well, it was a hell of a way to give a guy your phone number'.

9


	2. Up to Heaven

Up to Heaven

By

DRL

I suppose it was too good to be true. The perfect jacket _and_ the perfect man? Come on now, this is Duo Maxwell we are talking about, misfortune on two legs. Now don't get me wrong, I am not wallowing in self-pity, or anything like that, it is just mere fact. Good things don't happen to Duo Maxwell, and if they do, they don't happen for very long. Seeing Heero in that jacket in the library that day and the events that followed, at first horribly distressing and then quite wonderful, was definitely the best thing that had ever happened to me in all of my 20 years of life, but as I said, good things never happen for very long, and almost nine months later it was all about to come tumbling down around my ears.

After our first date Heero and I spent the night together. I guess it was quite slutty of me really, but it seemed the most natural thing in the world to do, even though we had only met each other for the first time earlier that evening. I say 'date' but that was not really how it started out (carry on Maxwell, make yourself seem even more a man of easy virtue), but it quickly assumed the guise of a date. It was like that with me and Heero right from the start, perfectly natural. We spent the night together in his apartment (a night of the best sex I had ever had incidentally), and the next morning I woke before he did. It was then that I discovered that he had been the author of one of the worst experiences of my life. To this day I have never so much as hinted to him that I know that it was him who stole my bag. There seemed no reason to, and I figured that the end definitely justified the means. After all, it brought us together, and anything that could do that couldn't be all bad.

After brewing a pot of coffee (and making my startling discovery), I wandered back to the bedroom and slipped back into bed beside him. I sat up, hugging my knees and sipping my coffee as I waited for him to awaken, which he did a few minutes later. Feeling him stir, I glance down to where he lay beside me. He was looking up at me with eyes wide open, as though he hadn't been fast asleep just seconds ago, and I will never forget the expression on his face. As I said, his eyes were wide open and he was smiling, and his whole demeanour seemed to say 'you're still here, I'm so glad'. He just seemed so pleased to see me that it made my heart swell. I dunno, perhaps he thought I'd have slipped away during the night having considered him just a one-night stand, but I can tell you now, wild horses couldn't have dragged me away from that apartment. He hauled himself up so that he was sitting up beside me, leaned over and kissed me. Just as I had when he had kissed me for the first time the previous night, I almost lost my mind. I definitely would have lost my coffee, and it was only his quick action in taking the cup from my nerveless fingers that averted disaster. His kisses still have that affect on me. One kiss from him and I become a spineless wreck.

"Mmmm, coffee," He said in that well-modulated, mellow voice of his, once again, bearing no trace of his recent slumber, "I see you found your way around the kitchen alright."

"Yeah," I replied, "I'll go pour you a cup." I retrieved my cup from him and made as if to rise, but he stilled me with a gentle hand.

"No," He said, "I'll share yours." He took the cup from me again and took a sip. Just like that, with no qualms about drinking from my cup. How could he have after what we had done the night before, I hear you ask. Well you'd be surprised. I've know guys who would do the most intimate things to you in bed, then would wipe the edge of a can before drinking from it after you had – weird, but true.

We snuggled together, sharing the coffee until the cup was drained, then we made love again. I don't know how he did it, but Heero could always draw me out sexually in a way that no other guy has ever been able to. He drove me to the edge of reason every single time, and I seemed to do the same to him, although I don't know how. Heero said that it was because our bodies' energies were in tune with one another (?) He spoke like this a lot, about spiritual things and energy and such like. I had no idea what he was talking about, but I listened to him anyway. Who was I to argue?

As we prepared to go about our respective business for the day, I was a little apprehensive, not knowing whether we were going to see each other again. I wasn't sure how to broach the subject, or whether I even ought to, but in the end it all happened quite, well..., naturally. I told him that I had a few classes at college that day, then I had to go to the library (_the_ library), to do some research. He said that he had to visit a client out of town, and offered drive me to my apartment to change and pick up my books, then on to college. I had already told him that I was putting myself through college by working as a research assistant for one of my professors who was writing a book, and as we drove I told him how this professor was always hitting on me, and how I was running out of excuses to keep him at bay, and still keep my job.

"I just don't know what I'm going to tell him today." I said with exasperation.

"Just tell him you have a boyfriend." He said quite simply and naturally, as if this was a well-established, incontrovertible fact.

"Okay!" I said with glee, seizing the ball and running with it.

When he dropped me off outside the main college building, he leaned over, kissed me and said, "Have a nice day Duo. Call me later okay? I'll pick you up and we'll do something."

That was how it began.

As a boyfriend, Heero was wonderful. I'm no angel and I'd been around the block a time or two. I'd had boyfriends before, good ones and bad ones, but none quite like Heero. Heero himself had a complex nature and he could be difficult to fathom. He could be quite taciturn, but then, quite suddenly, he could wax lyrical about an obscure subject that I'd never even heard of, let alone known anything about. I've always been of a garrulous nature – I could talk the hind leg off a donkey Father Maxwell used to say (he was head of the orphanage where I grew up), but Heero always listened to me and never seemed to get impatient with my constant chatter. I think it actually amused him. I would be holding forth on some (probably nonsensical) subject, and I would turn to him, waiting for his response to something I had said, and I would find him looking at me, head cocked to one side, with a strange half-smile on his lips and a merry sparkle in his eyes.

"What?" I would ask, wondering whether I had mispronounced a word or perhaps used one in the wrong context (I was always doing stuff like that).

"Nothing." He would invariably reply, and then he would lean across, give me a quick peck on the cheek, or sometimes brush his lips against mine, then he would proceed to or deliver his response to whatever it was I had said.

He was quite romantic, after his own reserved fashion. He was not the hearts and flowers type, but he showed his affection for me in other ways. He would only have to hear that I needed a particular textbook for my college course but that I was a little short of money, and he would buy it for me. Now I never ever told him on purpose, just so that he would buy it, but things come out in conversation when two people are close and when one of those people talks as much as I do. He was touchingly coy, as well as brutally realistic about these little gifts.

"I..., I bought you this." He would say as he thrust the package into my hands and stood shyly by, shuffling his feet and looking down at his shoes. "You said you needed it and I was passing Borders..."

"Heero, you shouldn't have done that." I would say, as I gave him a big hug of thanks.

"Why not?" He would ask quite brusquely, "You needed it but you didn't have the money. I could hardly stand by and watch you work extra hours to earn the money to buy a book that I could by with my pocket change, could I?" Well, when he put it that way...

I like my food and I'm usually a three squares a day kinda guy, but when I'm working on an assignment or essay for my college course and the deadline is looming, I often skip meals. At such times I would answer a knock at the door of my apartment and a delivery guy would hand me a package containing an enormous sandwich, a jelly doughnut and a large soda from the deli a few blocks down the road. Sometimes it would be a pepperoni pizza or a giant burger that accompanied the doughnut and soda, but with the food there would always be a note with the word, "EAT" written boldly upon it, and Heero's name scrawled beneath. Heero was extremely meticulous and thorough about everything he did, and when I would offer the delivery guy a tip, he would refuse saying, 'It's okay sir, the gentleman already gave a tip. He told me I wasn't to take anything more from you sir.' And I'll bet Heero really 'told' him too.

He actually gave me the jacket – my dream jacket! I had never seen him wear it since that day in the library, but I knew that it still hung in his closet where I had seen it that morning so may months ago, and when unbeknown to Heero, it had given away his secret. Whenever I was at his apartment I would always steal a look at it, passing my hands gently over the lettering at the back, feeling the suppleness of the leather between my fingers, lightly tracing the outline of the dripping dagger. How I loved it. I always thought that I had been quite discreet about this homage but one morning I had just finished caressing it and, closing the door of the wardrobe, I went out to the kitchen where Heero was preparing breakfast. As I entered the room he placed a plate of pancakes in front of me and said,

"Why are you so interested in that old jacket in the wardrobe?"

I choked on the mouthful of coffee I had been swallowing and after spluttering for a moment or so I lamely replied,

"What?"

"That jacket with the dagger on the back in the wardrobe. I've seen you looking at it a few times and I just wondered why you were so interested in it?" So much for my stealth and discretion. He sat down opposite me, added some milk to the muesli in the bowl before him and looked at me waiting for my reply, nothing but innocent curiosity written on his face.

"I er..., I just like the design on it." I stammered. " It's to do with Jack the Ripper, you know, from the book I'm researching for Professor Laing?" He curled his lip in mild disgust.

"In that case you can have it." He said. "I was drawn by the design too when I bought it, but now I know that it has to do with a serial killer, I don't think I could ever wear it again."

"Thanks Heero!" I said excitedly, bounding up and giving him a big hug, "Can I go try it on?"

"Why not," He said with an amused smile, "It's yours now."

I rushed into the bedroom, removed the jacket from the wardrobe and then slowly, reverently, I slipped my arms into the sleeves and pulled it on. It fitted perfectly, since Heero and I were much of a size, and I turned this way and that, admiring reflection in the wardrobes mirrored doors.

"How do I look?" I asked him as he came and stood in the doorway of the room, looking at me with that wry half-smile that he always seemed to adopt with me. He walked up to me, reached behind me, lifted my braid and pulled it forward, so that it hung along my front rather that down my back.

"There, that's better," He said, "Now you look beautiful." Then he kissed me.

Having Heero in my life changed it in so many ways I would never have thought possible. Life has always been a struggle for me, but having Heero around seemed to make that struggle a little less arduous. Just having someone to share my problems with somehow made them easier to bear. Even if that someone couldn't help, just listening to me while I poured out my troubles did me the power of good. Simply knowing that I didn't have to go through everything alone, that I had someone else to share things with was precious. This aspect of our relationship was rather one-sided however. Heero was not one to lay bear his soul. I'm not sure that he actually had any problems because he always seemed so self-possessed and collected to me, but if he had, he never confided in me. It was always me that needed the supporting crutch, and he was always there..., always.

In fact, it was like getting blood out of a stone to get anything personal out of Heero. On our first date I think I told him absolutely everything about my life, and he told me exactly nothing about his, besides what he did for a living. As time went on I managed to draw him out a little more, but as I said, it was like pulling teeth. I didn't want to trespass where I was not welcome, but I did think that it was important for us to know about each other's background if we were going to have any kind of meaningful relationship. That's not to say that I never found out anything about him. I actually did, and I also discovered what I had to do to get him to talk. Absolutely nothing.

About four months after we started seeing each other, we were at my apartment one day. I was making dinner for us, just grilled steak and salad, and he was helping me. I was standing at the counter chopping vegetables for the salad, and he was at the stove, checking on the steaks. Suddenly, out of a clear blue sky he came out with a statement which, after months of trying to draw him out about his family, came as a surprise to me.

"I'd like to take you to meet my uncle." He said.

I realised immediately that I had to be canny about this if I didn't want him to clam up on me again. I gave a quick sidelong glance in his direction, registering that he was still fiddling with the grill and was not looking at me at all, before I spoke.

"Sure, where does he live?"

"In Japan." Despite my resolve I dropped my knife in exasperation and turned to him.

"Heero you know I can't afford to go to Japan."

It was a constant problem between us, this disparity in our circumstances. Well it was more of a problem for me than for Heero. I was a penniless student and he was a freelance computer consultant and making pretty good money from what I could see. I wanted to pay my way, but I found it difficult to keep up with him. He had so much more money at his disposal than I did and we occupied vastly different levels on the social strata. For example, he enjoyed the theatre, as did I, but unless one went to fringe productions, going to the theatre could be an extremely expensive business so we didn't go half as much as either of us would have liked to, making do with the movies instead. Heero would gladly have paid for me everywhere we went, but I wouldn't hear of it. I didn't want to be 'kept' by him. I wanted our relationship to be an equal one and besides, I didn't want to be beholden to anyone, not even Heero. He respected my position on this issue, and beyond the odd gift or treat as I have already explained, he never pressed or forced me into accepting anything from him that I might feel compromised my principles.

"I was hoping you would accept the trip as a gift from me, since it is _I_ who wants to drag _you_ halfway across the world just to meet my family." He said, turning to face me. The look in his eye was neutral, but he chewed his bottom lip apprehensively. Sensing that if I made too much of an issue of this he would retreat within his shell and might never emerge again, I relented.

"Okay, thanks." I said, still being deliberately casual about it. "It'll have to be when term finishes though."

"Of course." He said, relaxing visibly. "I was actually thinking of the summer break."

"Sure, that'd be great." Containing my excitement with difficulty, I turned back to my vegetables and picked up my knife, hoping that he would talk more about his uncle. I wasn't disappointed.

"I've told him all about you and he can't wait to meet you. It was he who asked me to bring you."

He went on to tell me that this uncle, Odin Lowe, was his only living relative and that he had raised him from a boy, first in Japan, then they came to live over here. Once he had seen Heero settled and making his own way in the world, his uncle had returned to Japan. As time went on I found out more about Heero's background and childhood, but not by asking. He would suddenly begin talking, and I just listened, not questioning or interrupting him in any way until the mood had passed and he fell silent again. In this way I discovered that his early life had actually been no better than my own, and I felt that that drew us even closer together.

We enjoyed a wonderfully close relationship. Even though he was reserved in many ways, Heero was very loving, and he took very great care of me. He was very attentive towards me, and although he was often very busy with his work, he always found time for me, for us. When I was sick he mothered me mercilessly and if I was ever depressed or upset, or just plain grouchy, he would drop everything and rush to my side to either try and cheer me up, or to simply hold me and give me what reassurance he could.

He was a big hit with all of my friends, but I only ever met two of his. One was a tall, thin guy called Trowa. Trowa had beautiful eyes, a roguishly handsome face and extremely weird hair, but he was okay. He was married to a guy called Quatre, with whom I hit it off right away. Quatre was small, blond and very cute, and he I became good friends. Whenever we got together we always ended up with Trowa and Heero sitting in the kitchen discussing philosophy well into the night, while Quatre and I either watched trashy tv or soppy movies. Heero also had another friend, a Chinese guy called Wufei. He was a little too rigid and austere for my taste. I don't think he liked me very much and I definitely didn't like him. I think he thought that Heero could have done much better for himself than me. I don't say that he didn't have a point, but it was none of his damn business anyway. Needless to say, we didn't see him too often. Well I didn't anyway.

My best friend Hilde absolutely loved Heero. 'Are you sure he's not at least 'bi' she would say, because if he is I'll have to fight you for him'. I was so glad that they hit it off, because Hilde was very special to me and she had been a friend in need through many a dark hour. 'It'll be wedding bells soon' she used also to say, but I would always shush her whenever she said this. It would, of course, be my dearest wish, but I didn't dare hope for any such thing. Simply having Heero in my life seemed such an unbelievable stroke of good fortune that I didn't dare to even think of anything more.

Heero did once suggest that I move into his apartment. I was mad at my landlord for increasing my rent yet again, and as usual, he was listening to my ranting and trying to pacify me as best he could.

"I can scarcely afford the rent as it is, where does he expect me to find an extra twenty bucks a week?"

"He's a businessman Duo, I don't suppose he considered that."

"Yeah, well when I die of starvation let's see him get twenty bucks out of my corpse." I had been pacing up and down the room gesticulating wildly in my fury, and as I said this I flopped down onto my battered old sofa, beside Heero.

"I would never let you die of starvation." He said quietly, and he put a comforting arm about my shoulders. I lay my head on his shoulder and leaned into his embrace, and we sat in silence for a while. Then he spoke again. "If it would help your resources to stretch a little further, you are more than welcome to stay with me." Startled, I extricated myself from his arms, sat up and looked at him, jaw open.

The truth was that, much as I would have loved to live in Heero's swanky uptown apartment, I was scared. We had been dating for around six months at the time and it was going well, but we also lived apart. Sure, we often stayed at each other's apartments, but we always had our own homes to retreat to if the going every got tough enough. Uppermost in my memory was something that had happened to Hilde. She and her last boyfriend had dated for around two years. Then he moved in with her and the relationship broke up after about four months. She said things between them shifted into a different gear when they moved in together. He became more possessive, wanting to know what she did with every minute of her time, and she felt obliged to tell him, whereas she hadn't when they lived apart. In short, she felt that she had given up her independence and she wasn't prepared to do that.

I was quite sure that I was prepared to do that for Heero, but what about him? Was he willing to make that commitment to me? I know that it was he who had made the suggestion, but he might have felt obliged to make the offer, under the circumstances. What if he had just said it, knowing (or hoping) that I would say no? I wanted to say yes, but I was afraid to, just in case he didn't really mean it. And what if it all went wrong? What would I do then? My landlord would have let the flat to someone else, then I would have to find somewhere else to live, without Hilde just across the hallway. I didn't know what to say, but I was saved from having to provide an answer by Heero himself.

"You don't have to decide now," He said, "Just keep it in mind. The offer is always open, if you feel that things are getting on top of you here. And you can even pay me a nominal rent, if it would make you feel better about it." He raised his arm, an invitation for me to resume my former position within the warmth of his embrace.

I sat there, snuggled up to him, thinking about how wonderful he was and how much I loved him. It was this that was the cause of all my troubles, and the reason why nine months on, I felt that the days of our relationship were numbered. This and the fact that I can't keep my big, stupid mouth shut! As I said, I loved Heero. I was totally and completely head-over-heels in love with him, but I had never told him. How he felt about me I don't know because he ever said, but he seemed to at least like me. After all, he did go to the trouble of stealing my bag then sending it back to me, just to get me to call him. If had only I left it at that everything would have been fine, but no, I had to go and tell him.

"Heero?" We were in my apartment, lying in bed, basking in the afterglow of a particularly intense bout of lovemaking, and I'm sure that it was this that had loosened my tongue. I was still so dazed from my orgasm that I hardly knew what I was saying. "Heero?" I said drowsily, my head resting on his chest, his hairless skin smooth under my cheek, and his strong arms around me, holding me close. "Heero?"

"Hnnn"

"I love you." It was the first time I had ever said it, and I wish I had cut out my tongue before I had done so. I felt him tense beneath me. He even stopped breathing momentarily. Then he relaxed, but he said nothing. A moment later he slipped out of bed and walked towards the door of the bedroom.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"To the bathroom." He replied curtly, and padded through the door and off along the corridor. I watched his naked, retreating figure, then I lay back down, waiting for him to return. He was gone an inordinately long time, but when he finally did return, he sat on the edge of the bed and began to pull on his clothes.

"What are you doing?" I asked stupidly, surprise and disappointment dulling my wits. I could see perfectly well what he was doing.

"I have to go Duo." He said coldly. "I have some work to finish for tomorrow and I need to get on."

"But it's..." I glanced across at the bold numerals on the digital alarm clock on the nightstand, "Eleven thirty. You can't get any work done tonight, and besides, you didn't say anything about this earlier." A note of irritated accusation had entered my voice. He didn't reply. He just dressed hurriedly, then came over to where I lay on the bed, staring at him in open-mouthed incredulity. He smiled at me with all of his usual warmth, then bent and kissed my gaping mouth.

"Go to sleep Duo," He said, "And I'll call you tomorrow."

After he had gone I lay there in bed, but I didn't sleep. I wept. Heero had never left me like that after making love, never. The way it made me feel, he might just as well have thrown a crumpled up bill at me and said 'here's your money'.

Well he did call the next day, and he apologised for having to leave so abruptly like that but when I asked whether I would see him that day, he said that he was busy. He was busy for the next two days also. There was nothing unusual about this, in fact it was quite the norm whenever he had a big job on, but still I had a feeling of foreboding. I said before that good things don't happen to me for very long, and when the good times stop rolling I can usually see it coming a mile away.

After his leaving like that, it was four days before we saw each other again. We met for a quick lunch, and everything seemed fine. He told me about the contract he was working on, the one that had kept him from seeing me for the past few days. He also told me that he had finished and delivered the job that morning, which is why he was able to meet me for lunch.

"So can we do something this evening?" I asked eagerly. His gaze flickered away and then back to me before he replied.

"Yes, if you want to." If _I_ want to, meaning that he didn't. I'm sure he though he hid his reluctance well, but I could sense it, underneath his words, in the very words themselves, and in that flickering gaze.

We went to the movies that evening. Outwardly he seemed his usual self, but I could detect a..., reserve that had never been there before, not even at the very beginning. Something was missing. _Heero_ was missing. He was with me, but somehow he wasn't. He drove me home, but when I asked if he was coming up, he said no.

"Why not, you've finished your work haven't you?" I asked, and once again that peevish, irritated note crept into my voice.

"Yes, but I'm tired. I'll just take a bath and go to bed."

"Are you upset with me?" I asked, quietly. He smiled warmly at me and cupped my cheek with his hand.

"No, of course not. I'm just tired and I have a headache coming. I would be pretty poor company, so it's best if I just go home and sleep it off, okay?" I nodded dumbly, and he leaned over and kissed me. "I'll speak to you tomorrow." He said as I climbed down from his lofty SUV.

I watched him drive away until his tail-lights disappeared into the blackness of the night, then turned and walked dejectedly up the stairs to my apartment, my feet leaden as I climbed each tread. As I applied my latchkey to the lock, I glanced across at the door to Hilde's apartment. For the first time I hoped that she didn't come over for a midnight cup of hot chocolate and a chat. I wanted to be alone. Once inside, I sat heavily down on the sofa. I was wearing the jacket Heero had given to me. I had worn it almost every day since. Because it had been his and he had been wearing it the first time I ever saw him, I always kind of thought of it as having him with me whenever I wore it. Now, I wrapped it tightly around me, curled up in the sofa, buried my face in a cushion and wept my heart out.

I had lost my Heero, and I didn't know how. All I had done was to tell him that I loved him. It must have scared him off somehow, because nothing had been the same since the moment I uttered those words. I thought he would have been happy. I would have, had he said them to me. But then again, perhaps I had been right all along. I had always wondered what a guy like him ever saw in someone like me. Perhaps he had begun to wonder his too. Perhaps Wufei had gotten to him, his insidious little insinuations having finally found their mark. I could just imagine his smug face looking triumphantly at me, saying, 'well, we soon saw _you_ off, jumped up little parvenu'. How I hated him! But I couldn't in all conscience blame Wufei for what had happened. He would undoubtedly take a perverse pleasure in it, but it was all my own stupid fault.

I fell asleep in the sofa, and was awoken by the ringing of the telephone. I had no idea what the time was, but I knew it had to be late. I reached out, picked up the receiver and said groggily, "Hello?" There was no answer, but I knew that someone was there because I could hear their soft breathing. "Waddaya want?" I said irritably, then a sudden thought struck me. "Heero, is that you?" I heard a click as the other person hung up, then all I heard was the soft burr of the dial tone. I replaced the receiver and sat staring at the telephone, as if it could explain to me what had just happened. Then I shrugged, rose, made my way to my bedroom, threw off my clothes, climbed into my bed and slept a fitful, restless sleep.

Despite what he had said, Heero didn't speak to me the next day, or the day after that. I was not surprised at this by this time, but I was still hurt and disappointed. I called him often, but his answering machine always picked up the call when I called his apartment, and all I ever got was his messaging service whenever I called his cellphone. Things went on like this for about six or seven days, which were days of pure hell for me. I went mechanically about my daily routine, but I had only the vaguest idea of what I did most of the time. Hilde was a tower of strength, as she always was. It was she who got me through those days. She kept telling me that Heero had to have a reason for doing what he had, and that I would find out what it was eventually. She kept telling me that he wasn't intentionally hurting me, and that everything would be alright soon. This was wishful thinking of course, but I allowed her her attempts at consolation. She meant well.

One day, she made a suggestion that I suppose I ought really to have thought of myself.

"Why don't you go round to his apartment and see him?" She asked.

"What?" I exclaimed incredulously, "Are you out of your mind?"

"Why not?" She said, "The worst that can happen is that he tells you to your face that it's over, and surely if that is his intention, then you need to hear it from him so that you can get on with your life." She had a point.

She drove me to his apartment building in her battered old VW Beetle, and when we drew up outside the stylish edifice she turned and looked at me.

"Do you want me to wait for you?" She asked gently. I shook my head. "I'll wait for you." She said. "I'll wait for one hour, then I'll go on home, okay?" I nodded, then I got out of the car and slammed the door shut. As I entered the building she rolled down the window. "Good luck." She shouted. I smiled wanly, waved, then turned and continued on in.

As I rode the elevator up to the penthouse, I told myself that I was going to be cool, calm and collected. I told myself that I wasn't going to beg, snivel or plead. I was just going to ask 'Heero, what the hell is happening here?', get my answer, then leave. I knocked on the door, and waited, my heart pounding in my breast and my palms moist with perspiration. He opened the door, and his face first registered pleasant surprise, then a studied mask of cold indifference descended.

"Duo." He said flatly.

"Heero I..." This was as far as I got with my master plan. I took one look at him, my face crumpled and I burst into tears right there on the doorstep. He drew me inside, closed the door, and then took me in his arms.

"Oh Duo, I'm so sorry." He kept murmuring as he held me and stroked my hair. When my sobs had abated and become less violent, he led me to the sofa and sat me down, sitting down beside me. He wiped away my tears with his fingers, and smiled a thin, watery smile.

"I knew you would come." He said. "I hoped you would."

"But why Heero?" I asked, my voice still choked with emotion, "What have I done?"

"You?" He said emphatically, "_You_ haven't done anything. It's not you, it's me." Well this started me off again. Wasn't this was always what was said when a relationship was about to end. At least it was in the soppy movies that Quatre and I sat through while Heero and Trowa argued philosophy. He took me in his arms again, and held me until I had calmed once more.

"Heero," I said with a sniff, "I've missed you so much, I..., I love you..." At this he pushed me roughly from him and shot to his feet.

"Duo stop..., please just stop." He paced up and down the room a little, then turned to look at me. "I can't bear it, I just can't bear it any more. I have to tell you the truth. You deserve so much better than to be strung along like this." I shook my head numbly, tears streaming down my face, hearing but not wanting to hear. So it was as I had feared. "When I began this I didn't know that it would go this far," He continued, "I never dreamt it would. I figured we would meet once, maybe twice, then you would perhaps find someone else, if you didn't already have someone else. You seemed so popular, in that bar you took me to, where we ran into all those friends of yours. There were any amount of candidates there, and I could see that you had no shortage of admirers. But you seemed willing enough to keep seeing me, so I went along with it, not really believing my luck.

At first I told myself that it was harming neither of us, that it was only a bit of fun for both of us, that what you didn't know wouldn't hurt you. But then we became closer and I began to feel awful for deceiving you. My feelings for you underwent a transition, which made it even harder to keep up the pretence." He knelt before me and took my hands in his. "It was when you told me you loved me that I realised that it had to end."

"Heero no..." I whimpered, but he continued undeterred.

"I let things go too far Duo. I have to end it now, to allow you to give your love to someone who deserves it," He rose and turned his back to me, "And before I become even crazier about you than I already am." My head, which had dropped so that my chin rested on my chest, shot up at his last words.

"What?" I said, a faint glimmer of hope daring to stir within me. He turned to face me again and dropped to his knees so that our eyes were level.

"You say that you love me Duo, and I love you too, more than I ever though possible, but you wouldn't love me if you know who I am, what I am. I am a liar, a deceiver and the very last person on this earth on whom you should bestow your precious love."

"You... love... me?" I said falteringly. He took my hands in his once more, raising them to his lips.

"Yes Duo, I love you. I love you so much I think I shall go mad. It took me a while to realise it at first, why it suddenly became such a painful wrench for me whenever we parted, why your face seemed to haunt me every minute of the day while we were apart, why I yearned for the moment I would see you again, why I wanted to protect you from everything harmful or unpleasant out there in that big, wide, ugly world, why I wanted to hurt those who hurt you or made you unhappy, why I couldn't even bear to think about a life without you.

At first I couldn't understand why I felt this way, then it finally dawned on me. It was love. I was hopelessly in love with you. I vowed never to tell you. I swore you would never know. I didn't want to bind you to me in any way, so that it would be easier for you to walk away when you found out about me, about what I had done." I was confused now, happier, but confused.

"But I don't understand," I said, "What _did_ you do?" He released my hands and lowered his eyes.

"I stole your bag Duo, I was the one who stole your bag. That awful experience that you had to go through was all my fault, and I did it just to get a date with you. I selfishly stole your bag, causing you all of that pain and anguish, simply because I was too cowardly to go up to you and ask you for a date. Not only that, I then began a relationship with you, stringing you along and deceiving you into thinking I was something I wasn't, simply because I knew that you wouldn't what to have anything to do with me if you had known the truth. Once again, my selfishness prevailed, and I said nothing. The worst thing is that I allowed you to fall in love with me. At least I was not so selfish as to allow things to continue after that.

When you spoke those words you made me the happiest man alive, but I realised that enough was enough. Unfortunately, I was still too cowardly to face you, to tell you face-to-face, so once again I caused you pain and anguish. I thought it would be easier if I didn't see you, if I just made a clean break and neither saw nor spoke to you. I called you once, early on, with every intention of telling you everything, but then you answered the phone and I heard your voice... and I just couldn't do it. I decided to take the selfish, cowards way out, leaving you worrying and wondering. So you see, I could hardly be more unworthy of your love, could I? Duo...? Duo, what's the matter?"

This last he said because I had begun to laugh. It began as a slight chuckle, but then built and grew into wild, raucous, almost hysterical laughter. Heero looked at me as if I had gone mad, which to be honest, I think I had a little. When I could talk, I asked,

"Is that what this has been all about, my stolen backpack?"

"Yes but..." I cut him off as I began to laugh again, relief pouring out of me in the guise of peals of laughter. Even Heero had begun to smile slightly, as he began to realise that it wasn't just hysteria on my part, I was actually amused. When my laughter had abated once more, I spoke again.

"Heero, I know it was you who took my bag, I have always known." Now it was his turn to be confused.

"You know, but how?" He asked, his brow wrinkled in confusion.

I explained it all to him then. How I had seen him in the library just before the bag disappeared. I explained that at the time I had no way of knowing that it was him, but I had taken note of the jacket he was wearing, the jacket that I now wore. I told him that when I woke the morning after we had first slept together, I went exploring in his apartment to pass the time until he woke, and I saw the jacket hanging in the wardrobe. I told him that I may not be an Einstein, but I knew enough to put two and two together.

"_That_ was why I was so interested in it." I confessed. "I had seen it before, and had fallen in love with it." I then leaned forward and cupped his cheeks between my palms, training his gaze on me and locking his eyes with mine. "And then I went and fell in love with its owner."

"In spite of what I had done?" He asked meekly.

"In spite of it, because of it, who the hell knows why, and to be honest, who cares?" I threw my hands up. "All I know is that I love you Heero, I love you so much and I forgive you any harm you think you might have done me. There, does that make you feel any better?" I asked him with a grin.

"Well, in that case," He said as he adjusted his position so that he knelt on one knee only and took my hand, "Duo, will you marry me?"

I stayed with him, and we made love well into the night. Needless to say, I accepted his proposal, and as excitedly as a schoolboy, he proceeded to telephone Trowa, Wufei and even Odin Lowe in Japan to tell them of the news. I felt no disposition to do the same, my circle of friends being quite vast, and I decided that the news would keep. I did vouchsafe one call to Hilde though, just to make sure that she got home alright.

"Hil?"

"Oh hi Duo," She said brightly, even though the hour was by now quite advanced, "Is everything okay? I waited around two hours, then when you didn't come out, I went on home."

"It's more than okay." I said exuberantly. "Guess what? Me and Heero are engaged."

"To be married? There, you see." She said in an 'I-told-you-so' tone of voice. "I hate to say 'I told you so', but..." I hung up and went back to waiting arms of my husband-to-be.

18


	3. Happy Ever After

Happy Ever After

By DRL

An Epiphany. That's what happened to me the moment Duo Maxwell blundered in to my life – I experienced an epiphany. There was I, plodding along thinking I was perfectly content and happy, but I never really knew what happiness was until I met Duo. When I first saw him, seated at a desk in the reference room of the public library, I never imagined that a mere eighteen months later I would be married to him and as idiotically besotted as a man could ever be, but something definitely happened to me that day – something that turned my life completely upside down and changed it in ways I never thought possible.

It was the hair that first caught my eye. I have always had a bit of a 'thing' for long hair. Although I am not really attracted to women, I can appreciate beauty in all its forms and I find long hair very beautiful. It was not only the long, thick braid that arrested my attention, but the rich chestnut colour and the way in which it shone in the shards of sunlight that streamed in through the windows. Assuming that I was looking upon a woman, I turned away and carried on about my business which, incidentally, was seeking out a computer programming reference book. After browsing for a while I found my book, and as I made my way to the photocopier to copy the few pages that I needed, I passed the desk of the long-haired woman, and as I did so I took in two facts at a glance. The first was that the face was as beautiful as the hair that framed it and the second was that as fine-boned, delicate featured and long-haired as this person was, it was definitely no woman. This fact piqued my interest anew.

The copier was only a short distance from the table where he was working and as I made my copies I studied him surreptitiously. He was absolutely gorgeous and suddenly it occurred to me to wonder what it would be like to walk out one evening with a beauty like that on my arm. 'In your wet dreams, Yuy' I thought, but then as I later watched him from a strategic vantage point behind a bookcase, he rose from his seat and crossed to the copier. I think a madness overtook me at that moment and I did a thing that I am not overly proud of and I will not dwell upon it here. The only thing that I can say for myself in mitigation is that it brought us together. I acted on impulse, a thing I have never previously done and the only time I have ever done it since was when I asked Duo to marry me. Don't get me wrong, my proposal was no less sincere for its being impromptu. It's just that I had almost lost him, through my own fault admittedly but nevertheless, and I wanted to make sure that such a thing never happened again. I wanted to bind him to me forever, so I blurted out the one statement I felt would accomplish this, and it did.

Way before this, however, my first impulse-action had brought about the desired result and he agreed to have dinner with me. I will never forget the strange state of nervous excitement that had overtaken me as I waited at the table for him in the restaurant. I refused to even consider the fact that he might stand me up, and I had no way of knowing his sexual preference, but I told myself that I would play that one by ear. He did not stand me up and when he was shown to the table, the appraising glance with which his eyes roamed over me told me all I needed to know about his sexual preference, so the game was afoot.

I have to say that close to, his face was even more beautiful than I had first supposed, and in the library I had been too far away to notice his eyes particularly. I now saw that these were of a watery violet hue, and they were the sort of eyes a man would die for. He was theatrically dressed in a beautiful brocaded frock coat, black jeans and a white shirt, and his glorious hair was unbraided and hung loose from a black silk scarf, which caught it up in a ponytail at the nape of his neck. He was undoubtedly one of the most attractive, if not **_the_** most attractive person that I have ever had the pleasure to look upon, but unlike every other such person that I have encountered, he seemed genuinely oblivious of the fact.

"You know, I'm gonna let you into a little secret." He said as he leaned conspiratorially towards me as we sat together at the table awaiting the arrival of our main courses, bringing our heads tantalisingly close together. He had a delightfully exuberant way with him and had been chatting almost incessantly about this and that from the moment of his arrival. I smiled encouragingly at him and he continued. "I feel a little bit out of place here...," He made an expansive gesture which I think was meant to indicate the restaurant as a whole. His next words confirmed this. "... in a fancy place like this, among all of these 'beautiful people' **_and..._**," and he said it as if this were the most amazing point of all, "... with a guy like you! Little ole me, I can hardly believe it."

I think that this was the first thing I began to love about him. He was completely unaware of how devastatingly beautiful he was. He was oblivious to the fact that all eyes turned to him whenever he walked into a room and he had absolutely no concept of the effect that he had on others. He once described himself as 'stupid-looking, with weird eyes, a pointy chin, rubber lips and freckles'... I ask you!

"Heero, what do you see in me?"

He was recovering from a particularly severe bout of flu at the time. He was staying at my apartment so that I could take care of him and nurse him back to health. He was over the worst but he was feeling a little depressed and out of sorts. He had recovered sufficiently to be able to take a shower, and he was attempting to coax a brush through his tangled hair as he stood at the bathroom mirror.

"Look at me – I'm stupid-looking, with weird eyes, a pointy chin, rubber lips and freckles. You could have just about anyone you want, so what can a good-looking guy like you possibly see in someone like me? "

I was in the bathroom clearing hair out of the shower drain (one annoying drawback of long hair). I heard the quaver in his voice and I realised that he was genuinely upset. We hadn't been together all that long at the time and I guess he was still feeling a little insecure in the relationship, and the flu wasn't helping. I went up to him, took the brush from him, turned him to face me (and away from that confounded mirror).

"Duo, I'll tell you what I see in you." I said. "I see an extremely attractive young man with an unbelievably sexy body. But more than that, I see a young man with a brilliant mind and a wonderfully magnanimous and generous heart. **_That's_** what I see in you Duo. You're beautiful on the outside, but more importantly, you are doubly beautiful on the inside."

He began to cry then, so I put my arms around him and held him close. I tucked him back into bed after that, where he remained firmly ensconced for a few more days, until he was really feeling better. Perhaps I had been a little hasty in allowing him to get up quite so soon.

On that first date, if there was one thing I learned about Duo, it was that he was a talkative fellow. By the end of that date, I don't think there was one thing about his past and present that I didn't know. The funny thing was that he wasn't like some people who simply enjoy the sound of their own voices and their favourite subject is themselves, he was simply an outgoing and friendly person. He would have chatted away quite happily about any subject I happened to raise, but I kept steering the conversation back to him, so that was what he talked about. Among other things of course, but Duo Maxwell was definitely the topic of the evening.

After we left the restaurant he took me to a bar he knew. We walked in and Duo was greeted or hailed by just about every single person there before we even reached the bar. I had never seen anything like it. He seemed to know absolutely everyone in there. 'We might run into one or two of my friends' he had said, which was an understatement in the extreme. He bought us a couple of drinks (a glass of red wine for me and a beer for him) and he led me through the throng of bodies to a mixed group seated in a corner of the bar, by the window. Once again, he knew them all and he introduced me simply as 'Heero'. It was immediately apparent that the group had assumed the obvious - to wit, that Duo and I were an item. I was both smugly pleased and a little nervous about this, the former because, as I have mentioned previously, Duo was an extremely attractive individual and being mistaken for his boyfriend did my vanity no harm whatsoever, the latter because one word from Duo would put the whole group straight on the true nature of our relationship, relegating me to the position of, what, a mere friend? Not even that really, when all was said and done. Duo said nothing, however, and although he definitely did nothing to fuel the group's assumption, he also did nothing to disabuse them, for which I was extremely grateful, I have to admit.

I am not of a particularly sociable bent and I myself have very few friends (well I did before my marriage anyway, although I now seem to have acquired a few thousand more) but I made light, amiable conversation with Duo's friends that evening, despite the fact that by all accounts I might never see these people again. As the conversation flowed it was evident that they all took it for granted that Duo and I were a couple, and our eyes met conspiratorially once or twice as various telling statements and comments were made. I recall that we even received a joint invitation to a drinks party for the forthcoming weekend from one of Duo's friends, which Duo gladly accepted on behalf of both of us. It became increasingly clear to me that Duo was as keen to keep up the pretence as I was, then it suddenly occurred to me to wonder whether it really was a pretence.

When we left the bar the dynamic between us had subtly but palpably altered. We stood outside the bar, beneath a streetlamp, gazing into each other's eyes, and if that wasn't longing and desire I saw written in those dazzling amethyst eyes, then I've never seen it. I knew then exactly how the evening would end. It was just a matter of which one of us would dare to broach the subject. In the end I did, which seemed only right, because it was me who had asked him out to dinner in the first place.

After making a poor show of attempting to find Duo a taxi home, poor because I think we both knew that there was no way we were going our separate ways that night, I thought 'What the hell', threw caution and propriety to the winds and asked him if he would like to come home with me. The spark of excitement in his eyes told me that he was well aware that I was not talking about a nightcap either. "I thought you'd never ask." he replied boldly, which I took as a 'yes' and I staked my claim with a kiss. There ended the only real pretence there had been all evening – the pretence that we could actually keep our hands off each other.

From that moment on we gave ourselves over to our obvious passion for each other. It had been there all the time, from the moment he had walked into the restaurant, but we held it in check no longer. There then followed a night of the most amazing sex of my life and I went to sleep sated, but apprehensive.

Hindsight being 20:20, I can see how foolish I was back then, but at the time... You see, I desperately wanted to hang on to Duo, but I was at a loss to see how I could accomplish this. To me he seemed completely out of my league. He was beautiful, witty, intelligent, popular, all the things I was not (except perhaps intelligent), and I didn't see what I had to offer him that might keep him interested in me. Oh yes, he had certainly wanted me all that evening, but I had assumed that this was pure animal lust. I would be lying if I said that I didn't realise that I had a certain physical attraction. I am not so naïve as not to have realised this, but I had also learned, from painful past experience, that I was lacking in one or two other accomplishments that might keep a man interested. I had hitherto been singularly unsuccessful in the relationship arena, and really didn't want to end up chalking this one up as another of Heero Yuy's great romantic failures. I learned a good while later that he was actually thinking the exact same thing, and we have a good old laugh about it now, but it was a seemingly insurmountable problem at the time.

I had gotten it into my head that he would slink away during the night, but he did not, and we made love again in the morning, which was equally as amazing as it had been the previous night, if such a thing were possible. After spending the morning mentally rehearsing ways of asking whether I could see him again, he handed me an opportunity on a plate, and it ended up being so absurdly easy that I could have laughed out loud. Duo was at college but had a job as a part-time research assistant to one of his tutors who was writing a book. This tutor kept making unwelcome advances towards him, and that morning, as I was driving Duo to the campus, he mentioned that he didn't know what he was going to say to his tutor today to repel his advances.

"Just tell him you have a boyfriend." I blurted out without even thinking.

"Okay." He said, and sighed so happily and contentedly that that, I realised with relieved satisfaction, was quite neatly, that.

Having secured Duo as my boyfriend, I was totally unprepared for the wash of feeling that he would evoke within me. I had had relationships in the past (albeit few and far between), and although I realised that Duo was different from all the rest from the outset, I didn't realise that he would make me feel and act so differently than any of the others had. I have never been a very physically demonstrative person, and I would be lying if I said that I became one overnight simply because Duo required it of me, but I definitely did loosen up after meeting him. For some reason Duo seemed to bring out every male protective instinct I possessed, and all I wanted to do was shield and protect him from everything and everyone out there that might want to hurt him or make him unhappy. If it made him happy to hold my hand as we walked in the street, then I let him hold my hand. It was no real inconvenience to me and it brought such a sunny smile to his face that even if it did cause me any difficulty, I would have borne it a hundred times over.

It took me some time to realise why it was that Duo evoked such feelings in me, and when I did it brought me up short. I had wanted a relationship with Duo, but I had never thought about falling in love. In fact, I never thought I was capable of such an emotion, but Duo proved otherwise. It slowly dawned on me that I had gone and fallen head over heels in love with him, and this didn't figure in my master plan at all. You see, to cut a very long and shameful story short, I did Duo a great wrong, even before we had actually met, and I had all along expected him to walk out on me quite completely if he ever found out about it. In fact, I had begun the relationship with him fully expecting him to grow tired of me and to move on way before this thing ever became an issue, and my falling in love with him had never even factored. However, as they say in Scotland, _the best laid plans of mice and men gang aft agley_, and plans have never _ganged_ as _agley_ as this one did.

Even though we are happily married now and everything has been forgiven if not entirely forgotten (on my part anyway), I am still mortally ashamed of what I did, and I refuse to repeat it here. Suffice it to say that Duo did find out, and it almost tore us apart (although not **_because_** he found out, if that makes any sense). The whole thing was my fault, and I almost paid the ultimate price..., almost. This was a major setback in our relationship, but as they say, _all's well that ends well_ and it all ended very well indeed, with my proposing to Duo and his accepting me. However, we didn't exactly laugh all the way to the altar. Unfortunately, we had an extremely unpleasant occurrence during the run-up to our wedding, which resulted in my falling out with one of my best friends, Chang Wufei

Wufei and I go back, way, way back. We've known each other long and we know each other well. He and I have a similar temperament. We are neither of us very sociable people, and we both have very few friends, besides each other. Another mutual friend was Trowa Barton. The three of us hung out together. Coincidentally, we were all three of us gay, which made such socialising as we did do a little easier. As I said, we all hung out together, and although one or other of us periodically dipped a toe in the murky water of relationships, we were none of us particularly successful in this area. That is until Trowa met Quatre Winner. Quatre was an androgynous, cutie-pie, blue-eyed blond, with a sweet, sunny disposition and a heart of gold. He was also extremely rich. Trowa fell for him like a ton of bricks, and his feelings were reciprocated.

This was all fine and dandy, and as his best friends Wufei and I should have been happy for Trowa, but it didn't quite work out that way. I was very happy for the pair of them. They were so foolishly in love with one another and I was glad for Trowa. At least one of us had found love. Wufei, on the other hand, seemed to exhibit a rather odd reaction. Instead of being pleased, he seemed rather resentful of Trowa's good fortune. I'm not sure if Trowa himself noticed it, his head being in the clouds somewhat, but I certainly did. Wufei's manner towards the blond was a little cooler than one might expect from a best friend, and I myself witnessed him make some rather scathing remarks to poor Quatre. I had even determined to say something to him about it, but as time went on we saw less and less of them both, as happens in such situations, so there was no real need in the end. I never did find out why Wufei behaved in this way, but when Trowa eventually married Quatre, things seemed to settle down and we all became friends again.

Unfortunately though, when Duo and I got together, I noticed a recurrence of the phenomenon. Once again, Wufei seemed to resent my having finally found someone, rather than being pleased for me. Now unlike Trowa, I wasn't too blinded by love to see what was going on under my very nose. Wufei was up to his old tricks again, and this time he went even further. Duo, bless him, never said a word, but I kept a discreet watch whenever they were together and sure enough, Wufei's manner towards him was positively glacial and some of his remarks were downright rude. .

Duo had had quite a tough upbringing and he was able to roll with the punches. He could hold his own in an argument and was able to give as good, if not better, than he got. Unlike Quatre, who had lived a sheltered and coddled life and whose fine, delicate sensibilities were easily bruised, Duo's tough hide was unlikely to be scored by a few sharp words, or so I thought. Because of this and because of our past friendship, I didn't do anything about it. I maintained a watching brief, cut Wufei a lot of slack and let a lot of things slide while I held my peace, bided my time and waited to see whether things might settle down again, as they did with Quatre. This proved to have been a big mistake.

The whole thing came to a head one evening a couple of weeks before our wedding. The five of us, were over at Quatre & Trowa's house. We had finished dinner and had retired to the games room where Quatre, Trowa and I were engaged in a serious game of poker. As I said, Quatre was very rich and his and Trowa's marital home was large enough to have a dedicated games room (and a TV room, and a ballroom, and an exercise room – in fact, rooms galore!) Quatre was running rings around Trowa and I as usual (I tell you, that guy is not called Winner for nothing), and as he was scooping up his latest pile of winning chips, he looked around the room and said,

"What's happened to Duo?"

Suddenly alert, I too looked around the room. Quatre was right – Duo was nowhere to be seen. I hastily cast my mind back and the last time I recalled seeing him was when we sat down to play cards about an hour previously. He had declined to join us, as had Wufei, and he had gotten himself a drink and settled himself over at the billiard table, casually potting a few balls. I suddenly felt overwhelmed with guilt for having neglected him and left him to his own devices while I immersed myself in the poker game. I looked across to where Wufei sat carelessly sprawled on a club sofa, thumbing through the late editions of the day's newspapers.

"Wufei, do you know where Duo is?" I asked him in all innocence, completely unsuspecting. He shrugged absently, as if he didn't much care where Duo was, but as he did so he lifted his eyes from the newspaper and they met mine for a second. What I read in those cold, obsidian depths told a very different story. Despite his shrug, his eyes told me that he knew exactly where Duo was and the reason for his absence. A frisson of alarm and foreboding ran through me and I cursed myself anew for not having kept an eye on my fiancé. I rose abruptly, causing my chair to topple over backwards.

"Excuse me for a moment," I said to Quatre and Trowa as they both gaped at me in astonishment, "I'll just make sure that Duo's alright." I didn't even pause to right the chair as I rushed out of the room. I did, however, vouchsafe Wufei a look that promised a bitter retribution if anything had happened to Duo because of him.

It took me a while to find him because of the size of the house and the number of rooms; I had to check each one. I eventually found him in a minor guest bedroom tucked away right at the top of the house. I almost missed him too. I opened the door and peered perfunctorily in, but there was no light on in the room and I assumed it to be empty. As I withdrew my head, however, I heard a muffled sniff, which could also have been a sob. It was definitely a human sound, and a distressed human sound at that. I went back into the room, took a proper look round and saw what I had missed before – the small figure seated on the window ledge, silhouetted against the moonlight.

"Duo...?"

I fumbled for the light switch and flooded the room with artificial light. His face was turned towards me and instead of a reply he gave another sniff-cum-sob and dragged his knuckles across his cheeks, wiping away tears, even as others glistened in his eyes, ready to fall anew. I crossed the room and took him into my arms.

"Duo, whatever is the matter?" I asked in total confusion and incredulity. I could not imagine what could have possibly have happened in Quatre & Trowa's quiet, uneventful house to bring Duo to this, when a short while ago he was happily drinking coke and potting billiard balls. I just couldn't understand it. Then I remembered Wufei and that look in his eyes when I asked him about Duo. Duo clung to me for a moment, then he released himself and wiping at his cheeks again he said,

"Oh it's nothing; I've just got a real bad headache is all." He looked at me with a plaintive look of desperate appeal and said in a small voice, "Heero, can we go home please?" Then his face crumpled and he buried his head in my shoulder and sobbed as though his heart would break.

I got the story out of him eventually, but not without great difficulty because even under the circumstances, he was reluctant to rat on 'my friend' Wufei.

"(Sniff) I went to the kitchen to get another coke 'cos that little fridge under the bar only had beer, no soda, and the butler guy had gone to bed. (Sniff) I grabbed a coke from the big fridge in the kitchen and I was just turning round to go back to the rumpus room, and he was there, right in front of me. He (sniff)..., he came up so quietly, I swear I never heard a thing."

In spite of everything, I smiled at the thought of Quatre & Trowa's elegant games room being referred to as a 'rumpus room'. Duo then told me how Wufei had accused him of deliberately and calculatingly ensnaring me for my supposed money, although I am hardly a rich man and if this is what Duo had wanted he could have found far richer pickings elsewhere.

"'So you've got what you wanted you gold-digging little guttersnipe' he said to me. (Sniff) I was so shocked that I didn't even say anything. 'You managed to make him marry you, although, I must say, I would have thought that Yuy had more sense than to lose his head over a pretty piece of tail.' He looked me up and down, then he said, 'Mind you, looking like you do, perhaps I'm not all that surprised – I'll bet you're quite the honey-trap and I suppose Heero is only human and as susceptible to a pretty face and a tight ass as the next man. After all, Trowa fell for Little Lord Fauntleroy, so I suppose it can happen to the best of us.' Then he put his face real close to mine and said, 'Don't think we don't know what you're up to. We all know – me, Trowa, even Quatre knows. We all know that you are only interested in Heero for what you can get out of him. Have a care you little tart, we'll be watching out for our friend'." Then Duo broke down again.

Of course I asked him why he came all the way up here on his own rather than coming to tell me what had happened, but I his response was quite predictable.

"How could I tell you? What if it was true? What if all your friends really did think that about me? He called me a gold-digger Heero..."

And it was _this_ that had upset Duo so much. Being called names he could cope with, verbal abuse he could cope with, but being accused of the one thing that was completely alien to his nature, the one thing that anathema to him was just too much.

"He called me a gold-digger. I've tried so hard not to take anything from you; I've tried not to be a leech. I have, haven't I?" I assured him as to this point. "But how could they still think that about me? You haven't told them anything have you?" I assured him most strongly as to this point also. Then he dropped the bombshell. "I dunno Heero, maybe we shouldn't get married."

This is exactly what I was afraid of. I definitely did not want Duo thinking along such lines. Ever since our last little 'upset', even though he had agreed to marry me and he seemed very happy about it, I did notice a little insecurity about him that was never there before. I didn't want to lose him, and I flatter myself that he didn't want to lose me either. Unfortunately, my nature is such that my fear manifested itself as anger and hostility.

"So you don't want to marry me then," I said coldly, "You've changed your mind, is that it?" I could sense my gaze becoming flinty and I knew that the look I gave him was more accusatory than sympathetic.

"No, of course not!" Duo cried emphatically and wrung his hands. His voice was high-pitched and shrill and I realised that the poor thing was near hysteria in his desperation. He burst into a fresh flood of desperate weeping. I immediately regretted the harshness of my tone. He was upset enough without my adding to his distress with my fear-induced censure. I pulled him into a hug and rubbed soothing circles on his back in an attempt to calm him.

"Shhh," I murmured, "It's okay."

He clung desperately to me for some moments, then he released me and looked at me with desperate pleading in those beautiful violet eyes.

"Heero," He began, "I want to marry you more than I've ever wanted anything in my whole sorry life. It's like a dream come true and I thank god every day for bringing you to me, but I want to marry you because I love you, not for anything I might be able to get from you. After Wufei said that to me I just wanted to get away from him so I ran out of the kitchen, but I couldn't go back into the rumpus room because Quatre and Trowa were there, and like I said, what if what Wufei said was true? So I came up here 'cos it was right at the top of the house and right away from Wufei. Then I got to thinking – what if you thought that too? I don't think I've given you any reason to think it, but you and Wufei are best friends and..." I pulled him to me again and reassured him that I didn't think any such thing, and neither did Quatre or Trowa.

I thought it best to take Duo home as soon as was possible, but I had a score to settle with Mr Chang first. I took Duo back downstairs, but he refused to go back into the games room, so I settled him into the passenger seat of my car, bade him wait there for me and I went back into the house. I strode into the games room and stood in front of Wufei, ignoring Quatre, who was prattling something about wondering where I was and the game getting cold. Wufei was still lying on the sofa, but when he saw me he lowered the newspaper he was reading and sat up apprehensively.

"Get up Chang." I said in a stentorian voice.

He actually complied, which surprised me, knowing Wufei as I do. He swung his legs to the floor and rose slowly. Quatre had stopped talking and he and Trowa sat in astonished and apprehensive silence. Wufei looked at me with his customary defiance, but I could also see fear in his obstinate gaze.

"Outside, now!" I jerked my head toward the door.

"No." Wufei replied, and the satisfying quaver in his voice gave him away. He was definitely scared.

"Don't make me do this in Quatre & Trowa's house." I warned him, but he still did not move.

"Very well." I said resignedly. "If that's the way you want it..." I grabbed a handful of his shirtfront, drew back my arm and drove my fist into his face with all the force I could muster, which was considerable, considering the rage I was in.

I heard a cry from behind me, which I assumed came from Quatre, but Wufei himself made no sound. He spun around, fell to the floor and stayed there. A quantity of blood flew out in a spray pattern as he spun and fell, and I remembered thinking 'good' and hoping that he was badly hurt. It was a terrible thought, but my blood was up. I turned on my heel and walked to the card table. Quatre and Trowa were no longer seated but standing together, Quatre's head buried in Trowa's shoulder and Trowa's arms around him. Trowa looked at me over the top of his husband's head, completely without reproach or censure. In fact, I'm not sure there wasn't a little merriment dancing in those green eyes.

"I'm sorry." I said simply, and I left the room and the house.

I took Duo back to my apartment since there was no question of leaving him alone that night. When I climbed into the driver's seat of the car he saw the blood on my shirt and that shook him up a little bit. He was relieved to discover that it wasn't actually my blood, but it distressed him that any blood at all was spilt on his account and it made him a little weepy again.

When we got home I took three tried and trusted steps towards making Duo feel better and forget his troubles, if only for one night. Firstly I made him a huge, steaming mug of frothy hot chocolate, complete with marshmallows. Then I snuggled with him on the sofa while he sipped it. Finally, I took him to bed and made love to him, good and hard. That sorted him out and he slept like a log until morning.

"I can't say I blame you." Trowa said wryly. Having packed Duo off to college the next morning, I had gone back to Trowa & Quatre's house to apologise properly for my behaviour the previous evening, "I'm only surprised it took you so long. In fact, I have been itching to do the selfsame thing myself for a long while."

Quatre was out in the garden pruning roses, or some such other harmless pursuit, and Trowa and I were alone. I had, of course, apologised to them both but it was Trowa that I really came to see. Sensing this, he artfully despatched Quatre without giving the blond any indication that his presence was not required, and we got down to business.

It transpired that I had been quite wrong in supposing that Trowa had been oblivious of Wufei's behaviour towards Quatre prior to their marriage. Not only was he as aware as I was, he was also as piqued as I was. In fact, the only reason he allowed it to continue was because Quatre, as kind and gentle a soul as ever lived, had made him promise to do nothing about it.

"He told me that he didn't want to be the reason for me falling out with my friends," Trowa stated, "So he insisted that I refrain from taking the issue up with Wufei. He made me promise faithfully." Trowa, of course, was completely in thrall to his blond lover and would never break such an oath, once made. "I had to bite my tongue more than once though." He admitted. "Things seemed to settle down after we got married," He continued, "Which is just as well, because promise or no promise, I was this close..." He indicated a distance between his thumb and forefinger of about one quarter of an inch, "To, well..., doing pretty much as you did yesterday."

I nodded sagely. So that was the truth of the matter. Well Trowa was a pretty consummate actor (which, as he trod the boards for a living was hardly surprising), because I could have sworn that he was completely oblivious to Wufei's taunts and jibes. He rewarded me with a withering look when I mentioned this.

"How could I not notice? If not for the promise I made to my dear one, he wouldn't have gotten away with it for a moment. I know exactly why you did what you did yesterday and although I would rather Cat not witness such violence, especially in our own home...," He waved me to silence as I opened my mouth to begin a fresh round of apologies, "... part of me wanted to slap you on the back and say 'atta boy, and give him one for me too'."

"Why do you think he behaves this way?" I asked Trowa, hoping that perhaps he had some idea of what was wrong with our mutual friend, "Is it jealousy do you think?" Trowa gave me a wry smile.

"I think it's even more primal an emotion than that, my friend." He replied. "I think it's fear; cold, naked fear, pure and simple." He went on to explain. "I think Wufei is afraid of being alone. Don't forget that the three of us did absolutely everything together. We were almost like lovers, except for the sex." He gave me a penetrating look as he said this, one finely arched brow raised. I held his gaze, but I felt my cheeks burn. He continued.

"When I met Cat, Wufei sensed the initial threat to our cosy little threesome. Of course when Cat arrived on the scene I had to devote some of my time, and eventually most of it to him. Wufei resented this. I could see it a little in his attitude towards me, but to a much greater extent in his attitude towards Cat. _You_ were fine, but Wufei..., well, you know exactly what I mean – you saw it for yourself. I knew it for what it was though.

"Aside from me and you, Wufei has no other friends - none at all. Outside of his teaching work, we are his entire world. He has no-one part from us; no family, no friends, no-one. He saw Quatre as a threat to this precarious security and he acted accordingly. When Cat and I got married I think he resigned himself to the fact that Cat was in my life - in OUR lives - to stay and there was nothing he could do about it, and that at least he had you. When you met Duo the threat became even greater and being left alone became a very real possibility. This is probably why he was harder on Duo than he ever was on Cat. You noticed that too? Yes, I thought you might. I assumed that you had figured it the way I had and you were cutting him some slack because he wasn't being mean for the sake of it, but out of fear and desperation." I shook my head and confessed to being completely mystified by Wufei's behaviour. Trowa nodded sagely. "So what did he do to earn himself a slug last night?" He asked.

Although I had apologised profusely and had given a vague reason for my behaviour the night before, I had not given any specifics, mainly because of Quatre's presence in the room at the time. I was not sure how much he knew or didn't know, so I opted for caution. I now told Trowa the whole story, including the pitiable state I had found Duo in. Once I had finished Trowa nodded again and steepled his fingers beneath his chin.

"He deserved everything he got." He said simply.

Trowa went on to tell me that having staunched the flow of blood, they called a neighbour that also happened to be a doctor, who diagnosed a broken nose, extensive bruising and a mild concussion. They then took him to the local emergency unit, where his nose was splinted and patched up, then on home; he had declined their offer of hospitality for the night.

Quatre re-entered the room at this point and fell upon Trowa as though he had not seen him for a whole year. While this gratuitous display of affection might have irritated me once, it did so no longer. I now knew exactly how they felt. I shook my head indulgently and took my leave of the two love-birds. As I drove home it occurred to me to wonder what Wufei would say to his pupils as he turned up for school looking like he had been in a fight. Oh to have been a fly on that classroom wall!

The wedding day approached and I became reconciled to the fact that Wufei would not be there. I have to admit to a pang or two of regret - not for having hit him; I would have done the same again in a heartbeat. No, I regretted the end of Wufei's and my friendship and the fact that he would not be at my wedding. We had been through much together, Wufei, Trowa and I and in spite of everything, I wanted him to be there and I was sorry that he would not be. Being single, Wufei was to have acted as my best man but we hastily rearranged things so that Trowa took over and would perform this service for me. I knew that Trowa and Quatre were still in contact with Wufei, but I heard no news of him from them and I was grateful for their tact and sensitivity. I myself refrained from mentioning his name. Duo asked me about him once or twice, but having received only terse, taciturn replies to his queries, he knew enough to let that particular subject drop.

In truth, my emotions were in turmoil. I was torn between loyalty to Duo, and my friendship with Wufei. I felt no remorse for what I had done, but I felt a deep sense of loss whenever I thought of Wufei and what we once meant to each other. This then made me feel guilty for what I saw as my disloyalty to Duo. I couldn't find it in my heart to hate Wufei for what he had done to Duo, or even to dislike him, however hard I tried and this made me feel even more guilty and faithless. All of this, along with an important project I was working on and the final preparations for the wedding made me pretty poor company and I 'm sorry to say that poor Duo bore the brunt of it all, but being the phenomenal person that he is he took it all on the chin, smiled through my fits of pique, anger and irritation and did not complain – not once.

Duo and I had planned to spend the night before our wedding apart, not through any reasons of observing tradition, but because Duo's friend Hilde had promised to help him to get ready. As she lived in the apartment across the all from his, it was more convenient for him to stay there than with me. We had decided to make our marital home in my apartment. It was the obvious choice since mine was larger and better appointed, but had Duo not thought that he could make his home here and had he not felt able to cope without the proximity of Hilde, which I knew he valued greatly, I would have picked up and moved lock, stock and barrel into his apartment in a heartbeat, to hell with my luxurious comforts. However, he had agreed to move in with me and had given up the lease on his place.

At around 7.00 on my last evening as a single man, I was preparing to take Duo back to his apartment. A strange euphoria had settled over me as I thought of the events that would take place the next day. No nerves or apprehension yet, but I had no doubt that these would visit me in due course. Suddenly my telephone rang, breaking rudely into my thoughts. I snatched up the telephone receiver irritably.

"Yuy – what is it?" I barked at the unwelcome caller. The caller hesitated a little before speaking.

"Heero, it's me." I recognised the voice instantly.

"Wufei?"

"I'm outside your building. Can I come up?"

I hung up the phone, crossed to the front door and buzzed him in. As I waited at the door, Duo came out of the bedroom, all smiles and radiating joy. He took one look at my face and all the animation drained out of him.

"Heero, what's...?" He began to speak, but he broke off at the sound of a light tapping at the door.

I stepped forward to open it, then stepped back to allow Wufei to enter. I heard Duo draw a sharp breath when he saw who I had just admitted. Wufei stood in the entrance hallway and looked from me to Duo, then back again. His face was almost normal again, with the only signs of his injury being the bluish remains of some bruising below both eyes. His nose was free from swelling and, gratifyingly for him I was sure, was as straight as an arrow. The medical professionals who had treated him had done an exemplary job. He had not been wearing his customary spectacles that fateful night, having just begun experimenting with contact lenses, and he was not wearing them now. I longed to ask him how the lenses were working out, but those days of camaraderie were gone.

"What do you want?" I asked, not particularly coldly, but I was not exactly warm and inviting either.

"Er, I'll just go and er...," Duo murmured from behind me as he attempted to beat a retreat.

"No," Wufei said sharply, then he repeated it in a mellower tone, "No, please stay Duo. I came to speak to you as much as to Heero."

I half-turned towards Duo, not taking my eyes from Wufei, and held my hand out to him. He advanced, entwined his fingers with mine and stood close beside me. We both stood together as a unit, waiting for him to speak. Wufei glanced down at our clasped hands, swallowed hard, then spoke in a clear, unwavering voice, addressing his remarks to Duo.

"Duo," He began, "I don't know what to say to you. I owe you so much more that a mere apology, that I don't think I will ever be able to repay the debt. I have treated you abominably from the first moment of our meeting, which I am heartily ashamed of, but I bitterly regret and repent of my behaviour towards you the other evening – I think you know what I mean?" Duo nodded and he continued. "I had my reasons for behaving as I did, but I do not put them forward as any form of mitigation, because they were very selfish reasons and would not enhance my reputation in any way. Suffice it to say that I was very wrong to do what I did to you and I am very sorry to have upset you. You did nothing to deserve my treatment of you, you who have nothing but love and goodness in your heart. Heero is very lucky to have found you." He then turned to me.

"Heero, I come cap-in-hand to you today to ask you, not for forgiveness, which I would not dare to ask, but for a favour. I ask it in the name of the brotherly love you once held for me and the friendship we once had. I ask, nay, beg to be allowed to attend your wedding, not as your best man for I have forfeited that honour, but perhaps I could just sit at the back...?" He shrugged helplessly and tailed off.

"I'm afraid that it is not my decision to make." I said in an even voice, trying not to give anything away although my heart was racing in my breast. "It's for Duo to decide since it was he you injured, not I. It depends upon whether or not he accepts your apology. Duo...?" I turned to him.

"Er, well yeah..., sure..." He said falteringly, raising enquiring eyebrows at me as if to ascertain whether his response had met with my approval. At that moment he looked so adorable that I could have swept him into my arms and kissed him soundly. I turned back to Wufei.

"You can come," I said, then added, "And if you can cover those bruises, you can still be my best man. I'm not having you looking like a panda in my wedding photographs."

It all went pretty well after that. Duo and I exchanged our vows the next day and Wufei was brutally efficient as my best man. Duo looked ethereally beautiful and I have to admit that I almost wept with happiness when I saw him. I had requested that he wear the black brocade frock coat that he had worn on the evening of our first date. He had complied, but the collarless shirt, jeans and bikers boots that he had worn with it, had been replaced with a wing-collared dress shirt, ascot tie with jewelled pin, dress trousers and hand-tooled leather shoes. His hair, as it had been then, was unbraided and caught up at the nape of his neck in a black silk scarf tied in a large, floppy bow. His bangs were combed back into the ponytail, with only a few wispy strands allowed to fall onto his brow, and two tendrils of hair had been teased free and fell on either side of his face, framing and softening the severity of the look. He even wore a pair of black kid gloves, which he removed to allow me to place the ring on his finger, revealing beautifully manicured fingernails. Hilde had surpassed herself; he looked breathtaking. As for myself, Quatre had selected my outfit and had hired a stylist to groom me to perfection, and while I admit that my own appearance was elegantly dapper, it was Duo who drew the gasps of wonder and appreciation as he proceeded along the aisle of the wedding chapel.

Many-a-time I have heard Trowa say that his wedding day was the happiest day of his life. I had always dismissed this as cloying sentimentality – until my own wedding day. I now know exactly where he is coming from. I think I can safely say, without fear of contradiction, that the day I married Duo was the happiest day of my life, although the six months since have been pretty good too. Since Duo moved in I find myself doing things I never dreamed I would ever do, like hosting dinner parties and looking after neighbours pets while they are away. Having lived in this apartment block for three years without saying more than 10 words to any of my neighbours, within six months Duo has cultivated them all to the extent that we now have numerous gifts of pies and casseroles left on our doormat, we have been put up for membership of the country club and I have been appointed chairman of the resident's committee! Duo Maxwell has definitely changed my life for the better, expanding and enriching it in ways to numerous to mention. I only hope I have done as much for him, and if I have failed in this, it is certainly not for want of effort.

By the way, apart from the conjunction of myself and my beloved Duo, one more good thing occurred on our wedding day. Wufei was introduced to Treize Kushrenada, Duo's tutor at college and his employer, who also persisted in making advances towards him, which Duo constantly had to repel. After Duo took up with me, Mr Kushrenada withdrew his attentions, but still retained Duo as his part-time research assistant, and we all became quite good friends. Wufei met him at the wedding and they seemed to hit it off rather well. Wufei has been seeing quite a lot of him ever since and now it's Treize this and Trieize that. Somehow I don't think Trowa and I need to worry about Wufei being left alone any more.

20


	4. Love, At Last

Love, At Last

By DRL (Dedicated to Cristina)

"Whaddya pay for these plates Fei?" Duo Maxwell asks as he runs a finger gently around the rim of the large, white, bistro-style pasta bowl that I have just placed in front of him. I pause, momentarily thrown by the question.

"About $5 dollars each, I think." I reply at length. "I bought them at Heals." I resume my seat and indicate that they should help themselves. They comply with a will - all except Duo, who first lifts the bowl and turns it upside down studying its base, then, righting it again, hefts it lightly between both hands as if testing its weight.

"Heals huh?" he says contemplatively as he replaces the bowl onto the placemat in front of him, as carefully and delicately as if it were a piece of Dresden. He turns to Heero, who is seated across the table from him. "Hey hun!" Heero looks up from his task of serving himself from the large bowl of salad on the table and gives Duo his full attention. "Maybe we should get some of these." He raises the bowl slightly, by way of indicating what he is talking about. "Fei paid only $5 each for these. I saw some at Habitat the other day for $10 each and they weren't half as nice as these."

"Okay," Heero says, smiling fondly at his husband, "We'll go tomorrow, if you like."

"Great, thanks hun." Duo smiles happily back and helps himself liberally from the serving platter heaped with spaghetti and meatballs that Quatre has just passed to him.

I smile to myself. Heero would willingly buy those bowls even if they were $50 each, if Duo has his heart set on them. They have been married for almost two years now, and they are as happy as sandboys. Heero denies him nothing, not that Duo ever asks for much. In fact, this recent exchange is typical of Duo. His background is such that before his marriage he had always had to be very careful with money and old habits died hard. Heero is always complaining that Duo insists on carefully budgeting to the last penny, despite their being quite comfortable financially and constantly takes him to task, albeit good-naturedly, about being such a spendthrift but if this is the worst he can say of his husband, theirs is indeed a harmonious union.

And to think I once called him a gold-digger! It is an episode that I am deeply ashamed of, and although all now seems to have been forgiven and forgotten, I will never forget how nasty I was to Duo when Heero and he first met. Understand this - I offer no excuse or mitigation for what I did, for nothing could excuse my behaviour, but I will tell what I did and explain why, as far as there is any explanation, anyway.

It all began when Trowa met Quatre. The three of us had been friends since childhood, Trowa, Heero and I. We had similar personalities (not to mention similar sexualities, coincidentally) and we kept mostly to ourselves. None of us dated very much. I don't know why - perhaps we just never met the right people. However, about three years ago Trowa met Quatre, a sweet, angelic blond, and everything changed. He began spending less and less time with Heero and I as the relationship developed, which was only to be expected of course. As Trowa's best friends we should have been delighted for him, and Heero gave every sign of being just that. I, on the other hand, was not quite sure what my feelings were. I was happy for Trowa, but I think I resented Quatre somewhat for coming between us.

The thing was, he was a thoroughly nice person - for an ingénue, Trowa had done right well for himself. Quatre was beautiful, good natured, affectionate... and a multi billionaire! Not a bad catch for a beginner. I actually liked him tremendously and I **_was_** happy for Trowa, I really was, but the ordered equilibrium of the small world I inhabited had been altered and I was not particularly happy about that. Consequently, I found myself being a little... shall we say, curt, with Quatre. Just a terse reply now and then when he spoke to me, and a few barbed comments - nothing much, although a sensitive person might have been upset by it. Quatre remained as pleasant and polite to me as ever, so I took it that he was not too bothered by my coolness towards him. Trowa said nothing either so I assumed that it hadn't even been noticed. I thought I noticed Heero glaring at me once or twice, but he said nothing either, so I put it down to my overactive imagination (and possibly a guilty conscience). It was only later that I discovered how wrong I was and how upset Quatre had been by my treatment of him, but for the moment I considered myself home free.

Time passed and Trowa and Quatre eventually married. Theirs was a whirlwind courtship and from Trowa's meeting Quatre to the day of the wedding was less than a year. I'm ashamed to admit it, but my behaviour towards Quatre only worsened after he married Trowa. Irrational as I now know it to be, I saw Trowa as being lost to me. One of my best friends was gone, and it was all Quatre's fault. This was nonsense of course, because Heero and I saw Trowa often. Quatre was always there, however, and for me that spoiled everything. I consoled myself that at least I still had Heero, and at least **_our_** lives continued on in the usual manner. It even crossed my mind that with Trowa spoken for in the most absolute way, Heero and I might...well, you know, make a go of it together. After all, it was not as though potential beaux were beating down the doors to ask either of us out, was it? I was wrong about that too as transpired.

"Wufei," Heero said to me one evening as we sat down to our regular Wednesday evening Chinese takeaway, "There's someone I'd like you to meet." And suddenly I knew that he had gone and fallen in love. It was as serious as that - I could tell from the twinkle in his eyes, the way in which they could scarcely meet mine, the barely-suppressed excitement in his voice, the sappy smile on his face. Yes, Heero Yuy had fallen in love. I wonder now that I hadn't noticed it before.

I barely registered what he said to me after that. I suddenly saw my whole life disappearing through a long, dark tunnel, without so much as a light at the end. Heero, my last hope, had fallen in love with someone else. I now realised why he had politely but firmly put me off when I had suggested meeting up on several occasions during the past few weeks. At the time I had attached no particular significance to this. Heero worked as a freelance computer systems analyst/ programmer and it was not unusual for him to turn down social engagements due to work commitments, although I never recalled this happening as frequently as it had of late. I now knew why. He had never lied to me, telling me that he couldn't meet with me because he had to work - I had just made the natural assumption. The fact that he was actually going out with someone else had never - **_would_** never have occurred to me.

To this day I don't know how I got through that meal. I'm sure I must have made the right noises because Heero went on, telling me about this paragon that he had met a few weeks ago, and that he had been seeing ever since. The food turned to ashes in my mouth and Heero's litany was no more than a faint hum at the back of my mind. All I could think about was that Heero had found himself a boyfriend and I would be all alone. I had no other friends apart from Heero and Trowa, no-one at all. Soon Heero too would be consumed by his new relationship, and I would have nothing to do to while away the evenings, except grade test-papers. I sometimes met some of the other teachers from school for a drink from time to time, but I would hardly call any of them friends. Heero and Trowa were my only true friends – my best friends. Now they had moved on with their lives, leaving me behind. It was all I could do to keep from bursting into tears.

Heero had arranged for a meeting the next evening (he simply couldn't wait to introduce me to his new swain). He invited me round to his apartment for dinner. When I arrived Heero opened the door to me and greeted me with an apprehensive smile. He led me through to the dining area (which was unnecessary, since I had been to the apartment around one thousand times before). As we approached I saw a young woman at the dining table, carefully placing a tray of hors d'œuvre down onto the centre of the table. I was at once horrified, and I think my step faltered. I know I hadn't really been listening, but the person Heero had been telling me about couldn't possibly have been a woman. I would surely have picked up on it, however far my mind had wandered. Then the woman looked over at us, smiled, straightened up and walked over to meet us.

"Wufei, this is Duo." I heard Heero say, but once again I wasn't really listening to him. My attention was caught by the person he had just introduced as Duo. I saw now that I was in error. Duo was indeed male, but I also saw how I had made the mistake. He had extremely long hair that he wore in a thick braid that fell down his back and ended just above the waistband of his jeans. As he bent over the table to place the tray the braid had fallen forward and it now lay along the right side of his torso. That was the first thing I noticed about him. The second was the radiance of the smile with which he greeted me. It was a smile that conveyed the distinct impression that meeting me was just about the best thing that had ever happened to him in his life. The third thing I noticed, as he came close, was his eyes. I don't recall ever seeing eyes as beautiful as his were. They were clear, bright and wide, rimed with long, dark lashes, and of an unusual violet colour that was most attractive. He took my hand with a firm, sure grip and shook it warmly, placing his other hand on my upper arm in a gesture of friendship that impressed me. In fact, everything about him impressed me. He led the conversation during dinner, but not in a domineering or overbearing way. He was just a warm, friendly, chatty person who enjoyed company and conversation. He was the most open and guileless person I had ever met, except perhaps for Quatre. Heero too appeared to have done well for himself.

I ought to have been pleased for him and I wanted to be, really I did, but just as I had anticipated (and feared), Heero spent less and less time with me as his and Duo's relationship developed, which it did quite rapidly. To my horror, disgust and utter helplessness, I found myself behaving in the same way to Duo as I had to Quatre, but this time to a more marked degree. I was a desperate man whose life was being slowly drawn from him, and I was powerless to stop myself. Heero eventually proposed to Duo and was accepted, and my life just about ended. Heero had asked me to be his best man, which I should have seen as an honour, but so steeped in sin was I by this time that to me it just served to heap insult upon injury, and thus I hurtled towards my undoing. One day, about two weeks before the wedding, I went too far and almost lost Heero's friendship for ever.

That evening we had had dinner at Trowa & Quatre's, and after dinner we retired to the billiard room, just to relax and chill out. Trowa, Heero and Quatre were seated at a card table playing poker, I was stretched out on the sofa reading the evening editions and Duo was playing a one-man game of billiards at the large table that dominated the room. He wasn't talking for once, he was just moving lithely around the table, skilfully potting one ball after another. I glanced across at him from time to time, and soon I abandoned all pretence of reading the newspaper I was holding and just watched him as he played his solitary game. As I observed him a feeling of - if not quite hatred, then extreme dislike came over me. As I watched he raised the can of soda he was drinking to his lips. It seemed to be empty, so he went across to the bar, I supposed to fetch himself another. I then saw him disappear behind the bar (looking into the fridge, I surmised), straighten up, then leave the room. I rose and followed him. I seemed to be driven by some unseen force - I didn't even think about what I was doing, I just acted. I followed him to the kitchen and stood behind him as he opened the enormous fridge and removed a can of Coca-Cola.

It was late and the house was still and quite as all the household staff had retired for the evening. I moved silently and Duo was completely unaware of my presence as I took up a position close behind him. When he turned around to leave he saw me, and started violently. I saw a glint of fear in his eyes, and I have to say it gave me a frisson of satisfaction, seeing him afraid of me and at my mercy. You see, as friendly as he was towards me at the start, by this time he wary of me. As I said previously, I was more offhand with him than I ever was with Quatre, and he had a tendency to be somewhat cautious around me. This incensed me even more of course, and spurred me on to even greater perfidy, and thus I dug my own grave. As I said he turned around to leave, having obtained what he came for, and started violently at my presence.

"Wufei, you startled me." He said, affecting an air of affability, but I could sense his trepidation. I took a step closer to him and he shrank back against the door of the refrigerator.

"So you've got what you wanted you gold-digging little guttersnipe" I hissed venomously, stepping so close to him that our faces were merely inches apart. So shocked was he by this unexpected onslaught that he just stared at me. Seeing his lovely eyes looking at me, wide with fear, made a small voice in my head scream 'Chang Wufei, what the hell are you doing?' But the devil had too firm a hold on me and the voice of my conscience fell upon deaf ears. "You managed to make him marry you, although, I must say, I would have thought that Yuy had more sense than to lose his head over a pretty piece of tail." I looked him up and down as if looking at something foul I had just trodden in, then I said, "Mind you, looking like you do, perhaps I'm not all that surprised – I'll bet you're quite the honey-trap and I suppose Heero is only human and as susceptible to a pretty face and a tight ass as the next man. After all, Trowa fell for Little Lord Fauntleroy, so I suppose it can happen to the best of us." Then I moved my face even closer to his and said, "Don't think we don't know what you're up to. We all know - me, Trowa, even Quatre knows. We all know that you are only interested in Heero for what you can get out of him. Have a care you little tart, we'll be watching out for our friend.' He seemed to gather his wits at this point because he suddenly pushed me roughly aside and ran from the room. I let him go. I stood, staring blankly at the refrigerator door, and only then did the enormity of what I had done hit me.

I had no idea where Duo had gone, but my guess was that he had gone straight to Heero with news of what had just happened, and I could hardly blame him for that. I walked back to the games room on leaden feet, not because I was reluctant to face the repercussions of my actions, but because I wanted to delay what was certainly going to herald the end of my friendship with Heero. He was bound to cut up pretty rough when he heard about what I had done do Duo, and I didn't expect that he would let me off lightly 'for the sake of _auld lang syne_'. When I got to the billiard room, however, Duo was nowhere to be seen and Heero, Trowa and Quatre were still playing cards. I slipped quietly back to my seat, picked up the paper... and waited. It was Quatre who, ten minutes later, raised his eyes from his hand and suddenly asked,

"What's happened to Duo?"

This alerted Heero and he looked up, eyes searching the room. He looked across at me.

"Wufei, do you know where Duo is?" He asked this in all innocence, nothing but concern for his fiancé in his eyes. I shrugged absently, as if I didn't much care where Duo was, which was little more than the truth because I knew that the end was nigh. As I did so I raised my eyes from the newspaper I was pretending to read and they met Heero's for a second. I must have given something away because at that moment Heero rose abruptly from his seat, causing the chair to topple over backwards. "Excuse me for a moment, I'll just go and see if Duo's alright." He said to Trowa and Quatre, and he rushed from the room but not before giving me a look that bore through me like a red-hot gimlet. It was a look that said 'If you've hurt him, I'll kill you', and I did not doubt it for a moment.

He was gone for around 15-20 minutes, and during that time there was a desultory conversation between the three of us left in the room. Quatre wondered idly where Duo had gotten to, but was not unduly concerned about his safety, probably because this was his house and he couldn't conceive of any harm coming to Duo while he was here. Trowa however, fixed me with a steady, even gaze. He didn't say anything, but there was a knowing accusation in those emerald green depths and I had no doubt that he knew I was responsible for whatever had caused Duo's absence. When Quatre attempted to go off in search of Heero and Duo, it was Trowa that stopped him, convincing him to leave them be, and that they would be back soon. Eventually Heero came striding back in to the room, ignored Quatre's enquires regarding Duo and came straight to me. As soon as I saw him re-enter the room I sat up apprehensively and laid aside the newspaper. I was ready to take my medicine. It was well-deserved, and I knew it.

"Get up Chang." He said in a stentorian voice. I complied, swinging my legs to the floor and standing up in front of him. I looked at him defiantly, but I was scared and I'm sure he knew it. He was fuming and his rage was held in check only by a supreme effort, I could see that.

"Outside, now!" Heero jerked his head toward the door.

"No." I replied in a quavering voice. Trowa and Quatre looked on in stunned silence.

"Don't make me do this in Trowa & Quatre's house." Heero warned, but I still did not move. "Very well," He said resignedly, "If that's the way you want it..." He grabbed a handful of my shirtfront, drew back his arm and drove his fist into my face with all the force of an advancing locomotive. I felt my head explode in a paroxysm of excruciating pain, I swung round and fell to the floor... and I remembered nothing more.

When I came to, a man I did not recognise was prising open my eyelids and shining a light into my eyes.

"Is he alright, Doctor?" I heard Quatre ask, concern evident in his voice.

"He'll live." An unknown voice announced crisply. "Just a broken nose, with serious contusions around the eyes and probably a mild concussion. He'll be fine, just take him down to the nearest emergency room and they'll splint that nose for him. He'll have the deuce of a headache when he comes round though." He wasn't telling me anything!

After I was patched up, I had Trowa & Quatre take me home. The medics had insisted that I should not be left alone after having been concussed, and the couple pressed me to stay with them for the night, but I couldn't face it. I was too ashamed, and their solicitousness and concern, coupled with their non-judgemental reticence in asking any questions regarding what had happened, made me feel even worse. When I got home, I crawled into my bed and finally gave in to the tears I had been holding back for so long. Feeling desperate, wretched and ashamed, I cried myself to a fitful, troubled sleep.

I was absolutely right about having lost Heero's friendship. He never spoke to me after the incident in the billiard room. I had, of course, been stripped of my role as best man. I was not actually told this, but Trowa told me that Heero had asked him to step in instead, so the inference was clear. Trowa and Quatre were very good to me – much better than I deserved. They kept in close contact with me and made sure that I didn't sit at home alone, brooding. They still asked me no questions, however, for which I was doubly grateful, and the incident was never referred to between us. Whether or not they had discussed it with Heero and received an explanation, I did not at that time know. I resigned myself to my fate, but as the wedding date drew closer, I found it harder and harder to accept things as they were. My best friend – I still thought of him as that – was getting married. He was about to take the most important step of his life to date, and I was not going to be there. No, it simply could not be. On the evening before the wedding, rather than sitting at home licking my wounds, I decided to take action.

Having no real plan of action, I got into my car and drove over to Heero's swanky apartment building. I had no idea whether he would actually be at home, or whether he would be spending the night elsewhere, but I had to do something, take some action. Sitting at home just brooding about the situation was driving me insane. I parked outside the sleek, glass edifice, pulled out my cellphone and telephoned Heero's number quickly, not giving myself time to think better of my decision. When Heero answered the phone he sounded irritable.

"Yuy – what is it?" He said. I hesitated a little before speaking.

"Heero, it's me." He recognised my voice instantly.

"Wufei?"

"I'm outside your building. Can I come up?"

The door release buzzer sounded almost immediately. I pushed open the street door and I ascended to his floor in the elevator. I tapped lightly at the door and Heero answered it, then stepped back to allow me to enter. Duo was standing in the hallway behind Heero, and he drew a sharp breath when he saw me.

"What do you want?" Heero asked.

"Er, I'll just go and er...," Duo backed away as if to leave.

"No," I said, "Please stay Duo. I came to speak to you as much as to Heero."

Heero half-turned towards Duo and held his hand out to him. Duo advanced to stand beside Heero, entwined his fingers with his finance's and stood, waiting for me to speak. Duo looked tense and anxious but Heero's expression was inscrutable. I swallowed hard, then spoke in a clear, unwavering voice, addressing my remarks to Duo. I had not in any way rehearsed what I was going to say. I simply opened my mouth and voiced what was in my heart, crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.

"Duo," I began, "I don't know what to say to you. I owe you so much more that a mere apology, that I don't think I will ever be able to repay the debt. I have treated you abominably from the first moment of our meeting, which I am heartily ashamed of, but I bitterly regret and repent of my behaviour towards you the other evening – I think you know what I mean?" Duo nodded, still looking a little apprehensive, and I continued. "I had my reasons for behaving as I did, but I do not put them forward as any form of mitigation, because they were very selfish reasons and would not enhance my reputation in any way. Suffice it to say that I was very wrong to do what I did to you and I am very sorry to have upset you. You did nothing to deserve my treatment of you, you who have nothing but love and goodness in your heart. Heero is very lucky to have found you." I then turned to Heero.

"Heero, I come cap-in-hand to you today to ask you, not for forgiveness, which I would not dare to ask, but for a favour. I ask it in the name of the brotherly love you once held for me and the friendship we once had. I ask, nay, beg to be allowed to attend your wedding, not as your best man for I have forfeited that honour, but perhaps I could just sit at the back...?" I shrugged helplessly and tailed off, having run out of rhetorical steam.

"I'm afraid that it is not my decision to make." Heero said in an even voice. "It's for Duo to decide since it was he you injured, not I. It depends upon whether or not he accepts your apology. Duo...?" He looked at his fiancé.

"Er, well yeah..., sure..." Duo said and bless him, he actually looked at Heero with enquiry, as if asking whether he had said the right thing. With that small gesture, he captured my heart. After everything I had done to him, he would have forgiven me in a moment, if Heero sanctioned it. He was indeed a paragon, with no malice in him whatsoever. He loved Heero so much that he would clearly have done anything to please him. What would I not have given to have been worthy of such love as that?

"You can come," Heero said, then added, "And if you can cover those bruises, you can still be my best man. I'm not having you looking like a panda in my wedding photographs."

The wedding was magical and I acquitted myself well in my re-instated role as best man, even if I do say so myself. Heero looked dashingly dapper in a white tail coat with gold trim, silver-grey waistcoat and black tuxedo pants, but it was Duo who was the focus of everyone's attention. He wore a magnificent full-skirted coat made from a black, heavily patterned jacquard fabric, and he looked absolutely radiant. He and Heero looked so happy and so much in love that I confess to dabbing a bead of moisture from the corner of my eye more than once during the ceremony. The wedding was memorable for me in another way also. It was there that I met someone who would change my life.

As clichéd as it sounds, our eyes met across a crowded room, namely the assembly room where the wedding reception was being held. As Heero's circle of friends was limited and he had no family besides his uncle in Japan, most of the wedding guests were friends of Duo's (and there were a lot of them). When not organising things in my capacity of best man, I stayed mostly with Trowa and Quatre and it was as I was standing on the periphery of a group comprising Trowa, Quatre, Duo's friend Hilde and her date, and myself (I had no date) that I had a sense of being watched. I looked up and swivelled my gaze to look beyond the group... and saw that I was indeed being watched, by a man that I did not recognise. He was standing on his own, tall, lean and statuesque - very striking in appearance, in a dark suit, white shirt and striped tie. He was bold too. As I looked up and our eyes met, he was not in the least abashed at being caught staring, as it were. In fact, instead of looking away as I expected, he held my gaze and actually gave a wry smile, and it was I who ended up feeling abashed. I felt myself colour and I looked away. I was annoyed with myself for doing so, but there was something about the steady intensity of his gaze that unnerved me. I tuned back in to the conversation the others were having around me, but not for long. I felt that gaze upon me again... and again I looked up. This time the smile was accompanied by an insolently raised eyebrow and in spite of myself I gave a low, self-conscious chuckle. Hilde, who was talking at the time, stopped in mid sentence and they all looked curiously at me.

"Excuse me for a moment," I said with an apologetic smile, "Duties to perform."

I detached myself from the group and wove my way through the crowd towards him. If he wanted to be bold, I figured I would show him bold. However, when I reached him my bravura faltered a little. He was even better looking closer to - devastatingly so. He was older than I had first thought, perhaps as much as ten years older than I was. He had finely chiselled features that bore a distinctly patrician air, and startlingly blue eyes that were almost mesmerising. His thick, auburn hair had a slight wave and he wore it brushed back from his forehead, although a few recalcitrant strands fell forward onto his brow. He was considerably taller that I was and his whole body seemed to radiate strength and vigour. As I approached his smile broadened.

"Hello," I said, extending my hand, "Chang Wufei. I'm Heero Yuy's friend and best man." He enveloped my hand in his larger one and shook it firmly.

"Treize Khushrenada, delighted to meet you." He said, but he offered no further information. He did, however, hold on to my hand a moment or two longer than was strictly necessary for a polite handshake between strangers. Although I had never met him before, I recognised his name and I pressed my advantage.

"**_Professor_** Treize Khushrenada." I corrected. "You're Duo's tutor at college aren't you?"

"And his employer." He added. He was indeed the tutor that Duo was helping with research for a book, which was how he was paying his way through college. "And I've heard of you too, Mr Chang." He said, and a frisson of alarm shot through me as I wondered just **_what_** he had heard. Had Duo told him about the billiard room incident? I rather hoped not.

Professor Khushrenada's voice was rich and melodious, and just listening to him sent shivers of pleasure down my spine. Never before had I met anyone that made me feel the way this man made me feel and I was instantly smitten. First Trowa then Heero - could it now be my turn for love? Unfortunately, now I recalled that Duo had mentioned something else about this man. This was the man who had been constantly plaguing him with unwelcome advances just before he met Heero.

"But your glass is empty," He said as a waiter passed by carrying a salver laden with brimming champagne flutes, "Allow me."

He took the empty glass from between my nerveless fingers and handed me one he had taken from the tray. He took one for himself and looked at me with that knowing smile once more. My legs almost gave way beneath me. God, but he was sexy!

"What shall we drink to?" He asked.

"To the happy couple." I said, raising my glass.

"To the happy couple." He echoed, raising his. "Let's hope we can all one day be as happy as they are."

"Amen to that." I replied, and we both upended our glasses.

We spent much of the remainder of the evening together. I left him periodically to see to various matters in my capacity of best man, but we always managed to get together again. We talked about every subject under the sun, and we seemed to disagree about every one of them. We worked in the same field, broadly speaking, so we found common ground in this, at least. He told me about his work at the University and I told him about my high school students. Education - it was about the only thing we agreed upon but we got along famously just the same.

Eventually, we all saw Heero and Duo off in a chauffeur-driven car, suitably adorned, in time-honoured fashion, with 'JUST MARRIED' writ large across the windows and a garland of old boots and cans trailing behind, tied to the rear bumper, bound for a luxury hotel where they would spend the night, before departing on their honeymoon - a month-long tour of the Orient. The tour would take in Japan, Heero's homeland, and there he planned to present his new spouse to his Uncle Odin, Heero's only living relative. All of this I explained to Professor Khushrenada, or Treize as he bade me address him, as we watched the wedding guests leave as the party broke up after the departure of the newly-weds.

I had travelled with Heero in one of the hired wedding cars on the way out and I had arranged to travel back home with Trowa and Quatre. I reluctantly left Treize in order to supervise the packing up of the gifts. I was at the task for some time and though I was constantly on the lookout, I saw no sign of him. By the time I had seen to everything and was ready to leave myself, I assumed that he had left with the other guests. I was bitterly disappointed but not greatly surprised. It was foolish of me really, to think that what had passed between us that evening was anything more than a few hours of idle flirtation on his part. A meaningless dalliance to stave off an evening of boredom. After all, I knew the kind of man he was didn't I? His pursuance of Duo proved that. I really ought to have known better. As I watched the truck doors close on the last of the gifts and chided myself for my stupidity, I felt a presence beside me.

"Are you finished now?" I glanced up and there was Treize. My heart sang - he had not yet left, "Because if you are, may I see you home?"

"I... I thought you'd left already." I stammered, breathless with excitement at the realisation that he had been waiting for me.

"Without saying goodbye?" He said, "Inconceivable."

"Well," I prevaricated, "I don't want to put you to any trouble..."

"Absolutely no trouble at all. It would be a pleasure" He placed an arm about my shoulders and gently propelled me towards the exit. We stopped to take leave of Trowa and Quatre.

"Professor Khushrenada has kindly offered to drive me home." I told them hoping my eyes were conveying what my tongue could not - namely that I was sorry, considering the fact that they had waited for me and all, but...

"Okay," Quatre said quickly, a twinkle of mischief in his eyes, "We'll call you tomorrow. Safe journey!" As I turned to leave I distinctly saw Trowa wink conspiratorially at his husband.

Treize kept his arm around me as we waited for the parking valet to bring his car around, drawing me close since the temperature had dropped and the night was chill. The valet finally drew up in a beautiful Bentley (which drew a gasp of surprised admiration from me) and Treize opened the passenger door for me and settled me inside. To my surprise, while we chatted amiably of this and that, he drove me directly to my door, without once pausing to ask me where I lived. When he pulled up outside my small house, however, there was an awkward silence, the first of the evening. The truth was, having arrived at this juncture, I didn't know what to do. I desperately wanted to ask him in, so reluctant was I to give up his company, but I didn't want to come on too strong and thus put him off. On the other hand, I didn't want him to think that I wasn't interested. Far from it! While I procrastinated, Treize spoke, breaking a silence that was becoming uncomfortably lengthy.

"I'm giving a lecture on 19th century forensic techniques on Monday," He said (this was now the early hours of Sunday morning), "Would you like to come?" As dates go, it was not the best offer I had ever had, but it was better than nothing and I welcomed it with open arms.

"Yes, I'd love to." I replied with enthusiasm. Having heard first Duo, and now Treize waxing lyrical about their mutual field of expertise, I was genuinely interested.

"And afterwards, perhaps we could have dinner, then maybe some dancing..."

I swiftly agreed. He got out of the car, came round to open my door for me, and drawing my arm through his, walked me up the short path to my front door. As we stood in the pool of light thrown by my automatic security porch lamp, I looked up at him.

"How did you know where I live?" I asked, which to me was the $64,000,000 question. He smiled that smile again, and again my knees almost buckled.

"Instinct." He replied, then he leaned in and kissed me. It was only a little kiss - he touched his lips to mine for only a brief second or two and the touch was feather-light, but it was the sweetest kiss I have ever experienced. "Until Monday then - 5.30 in the Darwin Lecture Theatre." He turned, retreated back down the path and climbed back into the Bentley. He waited until I had entered the house before driving away.

I attended the lecture, and it was amazing. I had undertaken a little research prior to turning up, and I discovered that Professor Treize Khushrenada was a recognised expert in the field of criminology, forensics and detection. He was also an excellent public speaker and he held his audience spellbound, both with his fascinating narrative (not to mention that wonderful voice) and the stunning visual presentation that accompanied his speech. If I was impressed with him before, I was completely enthralled by him afterwards. Sometime during the evening it occurred to me what a masterstroke Treize had delivered in inviting me to watch him speak as a prelude to us getting to know each other better. We did get to know each other better - very much better - and by the time Heero and Duo returned, we were lovers and quite an established item.

The first time we were all together like this - the six of us as three couples, was shortly after Heero and Duo's return from their honeymoon. Trowa and Quatre were playing host, and the situation was much the same as this, the six of us seated round a table, having dinner together. I laugh when I think back on it now, but I remember how nervous I was all that day. It was silly really, because it was not as though the fact of Treize and my relationship was news to any of them. Trowa and Quatre had made up their minds that Treize and I were a done deal as soon as he offered to see me home after the wedding. Concerning this, to this day I have my suspicions regarding how he knew where I lived, but no-one is talking so it is still only speculation. Duo and Heero knew a day or so later, because Quatre, gossipmonger that he is, told them all about it as soon as he was able to reach them by phone and had been giving them regular bulletins since then. Treize and I had visited and dined with Trowa and Quatre several times so they already knew him quite well. Duo knew him also, of course and Heero too, through Duo. So again, it was not as though I had to worry whether or not he would make a good impression on my friends. He had already made all the impression he was ever going to on my friends and I already knew that this impression was very favourable. In the light of my previous behaviour to Quatre and Duo in the early days, it was overwhelmingly important to me that they liked Treize and accepted him. I had absolutely no reason to fear any form of reprisal, but nevertheless, I was nervous.

I need not have worried; the evening was a resounding success and we welcomed the newly-weds back with great gusto. Although they didn't say so in so many words, my friends welcomed Treize into our little fold that night also. Heero and Duo were the guests of honour and they regaled the rest of us with accounts of their honeymoon and the exotic places they visited. Duo was particularly enthusiastic about Japan and absolutely adored Uncle Odin. According to Heero, his Uncle was quite taken with Duo also, and he sat looking smugly pleased as Duo sang the praises of Uncle Odin and all things Japanese.

This evening also went well, but I am tired and will be glad of my bed, when I finally get to it. There is something I have to do first, however (besides the washing up), something between Treize and I that has to be resolved. I come back into the house, having waved the guys off. Treize is beside me, his arm about my shoulders. I pull gently away when we reach the front door, and I enter ahead of him.

In the kitchen I busy myself scraping dishes and stacking them in the dishwasher. Treize does not offer to help me. As I work I hear him enter, pour himself a glass of leftover wine, and leave. He is not shirking toil but giving me the space and solitude he thinks I need. He's trying so hard not to pressurise me, but I know that he is desperate for an answer.

He popped the question this morning, while we were lying in each other's arms after making love. We were in his bed, which always seems to me as large as a field. In fact, everything in Treize's house is large, as is the house itself. Trowa is not the only one who managed to bag himself a millionaire. Treize is a fully-fledged, titled aristocrat, which I discovered shortly after meeting him, although the Bentley was a huge clue. He is a college professor only because he wants to be. He doesn't **_need_** to work. Anyway, we were lying in bed, languishing in post-coitial indolence. Treize suddenly heaved a heavy sigh.

"I've been thinking." He said

"What about?" I asked lazily

"About us." He replied. I immediately stiffened, but he rubbed my back reassuringly.

"What about us?" I said, raising my head so that our eyes met. I was suddenly fully alert.

"Firstly, I'm completely besotted with you, and you are clearly in love with me..." He began. I gasped incredulously. Oh the arrogance of the man!

"What makes you think I am in love with you?" I interpose as I prop myself up on one elbow, the better to glare indignantly at him.

"But of course you are." He replied. "What makes me think so? The way you call my name in your sleep, reach out to me and hold me to you whenever I attempt to get out of bed for any reason; the way you tell me everything that on your mind and in your heart, and I know that you are not a person to do that lightly; the way that my unhappiness is your unhappiness, and my joy is your joy; the way you are prepared to wear your hair loose, even though it irritates you and you hate it, simply because I like it that way; the way you make long-term plans that include me – shall I go on?" He raised an enquiring eyebrow. I forbore to reply, but lying back down, I placed my head upon his breast, wrapped my arms around him and held him tightly.

"Seeing as we are clearly in love with each other," He continued, "It seems to me that the obvious thing to do is to get married. You could then move in here with me. It would be nice to be together all the time, don't you think? I mean to say, this place is ridiculously large for just one person, and I can't imagine sharing it with anyone else but you."

Just like that. He said it as casually as if it were the most reasonable thing in the world, and as if he made such proposals every day of his life. It came so suddenly and unexpectedly that I was stunned into silence. I did open my mouth to reply, to accept, but my voice failed me and no sound issued forth. Not even the meaningless drivel I was sure was all I was capable of! Treize seemed to take my silence as uncertainty, perhaps even reluctance, and for once, he was checked in his confident stride.

"Think about it." He said as he stroked my hair gently, "Then let me have your answer this evening."

I had been at school all day. Afterwards, shopping for groceries for this evening's dinner, hours of cooking, the arrival of the guys and the dinner party itself. With all of this I had not much time to think about what Treize had said this morning. Now, as I tidied the kitchen, it occupied my mind completely. Was I in love with him? Oh yes, he was definitely right about that. After being in denial for around six months, I have finally admitted as much to myself. I balked at confessing my feelings to the object of my affection however, but it appears that, as always, he is way ahead of me.

In love with him I might be, but prepared to marry him...? I close the door of the dishwasher, turn and lean back against it, my arms folded across my chest as I replay a conversation I had with Quatre earlier this evening.

"What are you up to Wufei?" He asked conspiratorially, placing a gentle hand upon my knee. "What are you so happy about and why is Treize so worried? Things are okay between you guys aren't they?"

We had finished dinner and had repaired to the living room. I had taken a chair that was situated on its own, a little apart from the others. Quatre had dragged an ottoman across the hardwood floor, shunted it into position adjacent to my seat and squatted down, cross-legged. I smiled and gave a defeated but good-natured sigh. I don't know what it is, but that man seems to have an uncanny sense of what people are feeling. It's quite scary the way in which he can divine one's innermost feelings, sometimes even before one is aware of them oneself. It was for this reason that I didn't even try to dissemble, but came clean immediately. When I had finished he leaped up and enfolded me in a warm hug. After a moment he pulled back and looked into my eyes, smiling.

"I'm so happy for you, Wufei," He said, "You so deserve this," I wasn't so sure about that, but I hugged him back. "Now hurry up and put the poor man out of his misery." He added.

I finish in the kitchen and walk into the living room, thinking to find Treize seated in one of the easy chairs. However, I actually find him sitting at the dining table, in one of the straight-backed dining chairs. The empty wineglass stands before him on the table and his hands lay on the table also, fingers resting loosely on the stem. It occurs to me that in all the time I have known this proud, confident man, I have never seen him looking so lost and defeated. Moving to stand behind his chair, I place my arms around his neck and rest my cheek against his.

"Yes." I whisper into his ear. He jerks his head around abruptly and looks at me, his blue eyes bright, piercing... and infinitely hopeful. I nod reassuringly, smiling broadly. He breathes a relieved sigh and sweeps me into his arms.

"I thought... I thought you were going to refuse," He said, stammering uncharacteristically, "You took so long to decide."

"I decided immediately," I said, "But you were so sure of yourself, I thought it wouldn't do you any harm to be taken down a peg or two."

"You little minx." He rumbled, and sweeping me up into his strong arms he carries me up to the bedroom.

Later, as once again we lie in each others' arms, glowingly sated after a night of spirited lovemaking, I think again about what Quatre said. I might not agree with him about deserving it, but I have finally found it. I have found love, at last.

21


End file.
